For many organisations, March marks the end of the financial year, and with this comes performance reviews, appraisals, and reflection on what worked and what didn’t. So, if you are a first-time manager, chances are that this will be the first time you are taking on that responsibility.
This brings us to one of the most misunderstood leadership skills: giving feedback that actually helps someone improve. Not feedback that softens the message, but feedback that is clear, fair, and useful.
And just as importantly: knowing how to ask for feedback yourself and actually do something with it.
Let’s dive in!
Why feedback feels uncomfortable for new leaders
Many first-time managers step into leadership after being top performers themselves, so they are used to doing things well, solving problems directly and being recognised for their individual contribution.
However, leadership changes the equation.
Now success often depends on helping your team improve, grown and develop, not on your individual contribution, which means:
- pointing out mistakes,
- dealing with challenging behaviours,
- recognising progress and,
- sometimes, saying things people would rather not hear.
Understandably, many leaders use what they believe is a safer option: The feedback sandwich (good + bad + good); but at this stage everyone can see what you are doing, so when you start with a “we really appreciate you” or “you are such a great asset to the team”, they already know that there is a painful “however” just around the corner. So, the praise starts to feel like a tick in the box, and the real message you want to pass becomes diluted.
What quality constructive feedback actually looks like
Good constructive feedback is specific, timely and focused on behaviour, not personality, and it answers three simple questions:
- What happened?
- Why does it matter?
- What should happen next time?
For example, instead of: “Your presentation needs a bit more structure.”
Try: “In yesterday’s client presentation, the key recommendation came quite late. Starting with that earlier would help the client understand the direction sooner.”
The first one leaves the person guessing and the other one gives them something specific to work on, a reason and a goal.
A simple checklist for giving better feedback
When preparing feedback, ask yourself:
- Is it specific? Avoid vague statements like “be more proactive”.
- Is it about behaviour rather than the person? Focus on what happened, not who they are.
- Is it timely? Feedback given months later loses its impact.
- Is it balanced over time? Recognition matters just as much as correction.
- Is there a clear next step? People should leave knowing what “better” looks like.
- How can I pass the message that I am giving this feedback because I care about this person’s development? Because that’s the real goal.
Asking for feedback as a leader
Giving feedback is a great way to help your team grow, but it’s only half of the equation. Leaders who grow the most are often those who are willing to receive it as well and to do something about.
However, many new leaders unknowingly ask for feedback in ways that make honest answers unlikely. For example: “Any feedback for me?” This question often leads to polite a polite "no, it's all fine", and then, silence.
A better approach is to ask specific questions, for example:
- “What’s one thing I could do differently to support the team better?”
- “Was there anything in that meeting I could have handled more effectively?”
- “What would make our one-to-ones more useful for you?”
Specific questions will create permission for honest responses.
What to do with the feedback you receive
Receiving feedback is one thing; listening and acknowledging it will make the other person feel heard, and that’s great. But acting on it is what builds trust.
To do this, there are three simple steps that can help you:
- Listen fully before responding. Resist the urge to explain or defend yourself immediately.
- Look for patterns. One comment may be an opinion. Repeated feedback is a signal.
- Close the loop. Let people know you heard and understood them.
For example: “You mentioned in our last conversation that our meetings sometimes feel rushed. I’m going to try a slightly different structure this month, so we have more time for discussion.”
This small action shows people that their input matters.
And when people see that feedback leads to change, they are far more likely to keep giving it and to trust you more.
A final thought for leaders during review season
Performance reviews often focus on numbers, targets and outcomes, but behind every metric is a human being trying to do their job well.
Quality feedback is one of the most powerful ways leaders can develop people, build trust and improve performance over time. Not by making conversations easier, but by making them clearer, fairer, and more useful.
If you are currently navigating performance reviews or leadership transitions in your organisation, this is a conversation worth having.
And if you are a new leader learning how to do this well, remember: Feedback is not about judging people. It’s about helping them grow.
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