Trigger warning: this article discusses binge eating. If you are not in a state to consume this kind of information please look after yourself and discontinue reading.
Find support for binge eating or disordered eating for you or a loved one at Butterfly Foundation: Support for Eating Disorders and Body Image Issues or discuss your concerns with a GP or mental health professional.
Binge eating, I’ve done it, perhaps you’ve done it too. Unfortunately, it’s common but as it’s something that’s rarely discussed, it can make us feel like we’re the only ones who have ever struggled. This societal silence encourages our own silence. We bury it down, hoping that it will lose its power and not return. It never works like that though - instead of it fading into nothingness we give more power to our binges. We grow shameful. The next time something triggers us we're now faced with two demons instead of one - the binge desire itself and our own feelings of unworthiness. So, let’s chat.
What is binge eating? A binge is described as eating a large amount of food in a short period of time. Typically this comes with feelings of not being able to control the desire to eat and when to stop.
Our binges are like the arguments we keep having with our partner. In the moment it feels all-consuming. We’re caught up in the petty details and become oblivious to the real issues below the surface. Healing our relationship with food is exactly like healing our personal relationships. We must give our intention and attention to the issue. We need to become aware of what is really causing the issues before we can fix them. We can’t heal what we don’t acknowledge.
There are two common situations that lead up to a binge eating episode:
- 1. Your body is having a physiological response to extreme hunger/restriction
Your body is incredibly smart; it wants to keep you alive, energetic and thriving. It can’t do this if it’s faced with lack, scarcity and famine. It’s not that you lack willpower; your body needs food to survive and whether you like it or not, it’s going to make it incredibly difficult for you to deprive it of that. The fastest way to induce a binge is to force yourself to forego food to the point that it’s all you can think about. At the first opportunity, you will consume everything in sight. You won’t be paying attention to what foods may nourish you, how much quantity you require or even what the food tastes like - all that will be your focus in that moment is consuming anything you can to stop the raging monster that is your hunger signals. Because we want to well and truly silence that monster we typically keep eating way more than what we actually need. The easy solution? Make sure you’re eating regularly and in sufficient amounts to stop yourself from getting to the point of the raging monster. If it’s a simple issue of not being organised and forgetting to eat this should be a simple enough solution. If however, you’re intentionally restricting your food intake in the hopes that this time you will be “strong enough” to fight off your hangry monster then you will need to address why it is that you feel like you need to restrict your food intake in the first place. There is a way to lose body fat that works with the body and there is a way that works against it, perpetuating your negative relationship with food and binge cycles. Continuing in this way is definitely setting you up for the latter.
- 2. You’ve learned an emotional attachment to food usually as a coping mechanism for external stressors
Food is comfort - we get taught this in childhood - and while it’s unrealistic to say that you’ll never use food as a comfort again, when it comes to breaking a binge pattern we need to work to resolve not only the stressors that are causing your binge but your underlying beliefs and attachments to food that are causing you to use it as a coping mechanism in these moments. This is a process, not something that will be resolved in a day. From now on you get to use your binges as teaching moments. When you come back to yourself post-binge take some time to sit with yourself and note what took place leading up to your binge. Did a particular situation trigger you? What were you feeling before your binge and when have you felt like this in the past? When was the first time you remember feeling this way? How did that first moment impact how you see yourself? What role did food play in that situation? These are important questions to find the answers to. It is only after we understand ourselves and our unconscious reactions that we can work to put new and more effective coping mechanisms in place. This process of learning might be something that you find a trusted professional to help you through, someone to guide you through it as safely and as effectively as possible.
Remember, when it comes to binge eating, you are definitely not alone. Don’t give more power to your binges by keeping them secreted away - it’s time to talk, accept help and finally overcome the powerlessness you feel around food.
If I can, you can.