Let me start by saying that I’m a perfectionist. And let me continue by saying that I don’t think that this has ever really benefited me which is why I now like to think of myself as a recovering perfectionist.
For someone who hasn’t experienced what perfectionism can manifest as it might be easy to think of it as a good trait. I even believed it myself for many years. But let me tell you what perfectionism really looked like for me:
- Crippling inaction. Procrastination to the point of just not doing. When nothing is started until everything is perfect nothing gets started, period.
- Never learning anything new. If I couldn’t do something and be great at it the first time I did it, it was probably “not for me”.
- Self-sabotaging behaviours. I began subconsciously interfering with my own success. It was a fallback mechanism – if something didn’t turn out the way it should have, it was okay because I purposely messed it up – “if I had really tried it would have worked.”
- Low self-worth. When you set ridiculously high standards for yourself, you’re only ever going to fall short. And when you identify who you are with that high standard it’s only going to make you feel like shit.
- Eating disorders. Just another way to try to control everything in my life.
There are many other ways that your perfectionism could show up in your life; these are just the key areas that showed up in mine.
If you’ve come to a point where you’re ready to make a change and give up the behaviours that aren't serving you anymore, here are my tips for growth:
If you’re the kind of person who likes to do things yourself then I would 100% recommend you add these 2 books to your reading list ASAP:
“When Perfect Isn’t Good Enough” by Martin M. Antony & Richard P. Swinson
“Mindset” by Carol Dweck
If you’re at a point where you think you need more support to work through things, then I’m proud of you for being honest. A coach, counsellor or therapist can be a great place to start with working through behaviours that you’d like to change.
And just remember – giving up your perfectionism isn’t giving up your potential, it’s actually enabling you to reach it without all the behaviours that are holding you back.
So here I am, signing off on my imperfect blog article with the hope that it can help someone else like me.
Remember, if I can, you can.