I made Wonderfull Burden while I was treading water.

At the time, I was working nine jobs, taking on new debt, watching material costs climb, and trying to keep making art anyway. I created this piece specifically for [queerphoria] vol. 6: restoration, and somewhere along the way I realized that the piece was becoming a reflection of the circumstances in which I was making it.

Wonderfull Burden is made from mild steel, industrial chain, and bolts. The chain and hardware are rated to hold 1,900 pounds. The finished piece weighs 5 pounds and 3.5 ounces.

That contrast matters to me.

Restoration is beautiful. We talk about gardens, renewal, community, healing, and rebuilding. But we don't always talk about the weight of the people doing the rebuilding. Educators, organizers, artists, curators, and community builders are constantly asked to take very little and somehow make something beautiful from it—to make pennies stretch, weave connections from strangers, create opportunities from empty spaces, and plant gardens where there wasn't one before.

I know that weight.

I designed the flowers in a simple, MS Paint-like CNC program on a public computer and used scrap material from a local technical college. With their CNC plasma cutter, I cut the pieces and then made the flowers one at a time over several weeks. Every step took time, resources, problem-solving, and persistence.

Every step was difficult.

And every step was worth it.

Because I don't want this piece to be only about exhaustion.

The flowers move. Their centers spin. They're playful and beautiful. The industrial structure is heavy and grounding, while the flowers insist on joy.

That is what I keep coming back to.

I want to dream of gardens.

I want to have the strength to plant them.

And I want to have the voice to beckon people over when they bloom, so we can share the joy together.

The bolts may press uncomfortably. The weight may be noticeable. The burden is real. But so are the flowers.

Sometimes restoration doesn't begin when we finally have enough.

Sometimes it begins while we're still treading water with scrap steel, borrowed equipment, limited resources, tired hands, and a stubborn decision to make something beautiful anyway.

Wonderfull Burden is about that decision.

The burden is worth bearing if it means there can be flowers.