You know that moment — your toddler's screaming because they want that snack right now, the toy immediately, or to be dressed yesterday. Your first instinct might be to rush in and do it, but giving in instantly might just be why you're in this boat in the first place.
Here’s a little secret I learned over 10 years of working with toddlers: letting them wait — in a calm, safe way — teaches emotional regulation and patience. 🌱
It's not hard to do, and it's a method that worked every time, even with the babies!
Here are the steps: Stop → Show → Wait:
- 1️⃣ Stop — pause and resist the urge to give in immediately. 🛑
- 2️⃣ Show — let them see what they’re waiting for. Keep it in view, but don’t hand it over yet. 👀
- 3️⃣ Wait — stay calm if they get upset and wait until they settle down and stop crying before handing it over. Once they’ve regulated themselves, you can give the item. ⏳
Why this works:
- They learn that crying isn’t the way to get things.
- They learn waiting is safe — that the world won’t fall apart if they pause and calm down, and the thing they want won't disappear. 🧠
Small, consistent practices like this build emotional regulation over time, reduce power struggles, and teach your toddler that patience pays off. 🌿
And here's a little something special just for you, to help remember the lesson:
You won't find this in my regular resources section; this is a special private link just for toddler moms who read this post. A gentle reminder to print out and post on your fridge.💗
I know you want fast solutions, and this can help you stay on track.
CLICK HERE for exclusive access to your very own FREE Toddler Patience in Just Minutes a Day Cheatsheet.
And here's the best part: You don't have to do this only when they're acting out.
I used to start even the youngest of my babies (as small as one-year-old), waiting for things to help with the learning curve.
If you make a habit of showing them the items you're giving them and holding back for 10-20 seconds (I also used to say the word "wait" out loud so they learn to associate the word with the action and feeling).
💡 Quick tip: Start with short waits for random things, and do this when they're NOT upset — even 2-5 seconds is enough at first. Gradually, your child will manage longer delays with less stress.
Remember: Don’t Fear the Tears, especially if your child is used to getting everything instantly. This will be a tough learning curve for them — they’re part of learning patience, not a signal that something is wrong.
If your child acts out for something, just let them cry, don't react, and don't give them what they scream for.
It won't be easy if you've never done it before, but it's worth it.
Wait for a break in the tantrum before giving a payoff. If you don’t, you might accidentally reinforce the behavior you don’t want.
You've got this, Toddler Mama!💛
And I've got you.
If you need some help getting started, check out this FREE resource designed to support you in teaching your toddler more patience: The Grounded Toddler: 6-Step Patience Plan FREE Download.
To go deeper on this subject, check out my full article, Do All Toddlers Freak Out When They Have To Wait, Or Is My Kid Just 'Bad?"
But first, grab your own FREE Toddler Brain Cheat Sheet to make sense of the behaviors you see and parent with confidence.