My name is Ansis Klintsons.

I'm a fairly grumpy 50-year-old man who's full of life. Over the course of about 30 years, while hosting events, seminars, discussions, and other gatherings and using a microphone to the best of my ability, I've encountered countless instances of harsh feedback and participants using microphones in every possible way except the logical one. Even in 2024, there are people who hold the microphone to their stomachs during debates or gesture with it while speaking. In short, it made me furious. I realized that a brief instruction manual on microphones was necessary, which is what this article is about.