Why saying “no” can sometimes be the most valuable thing you do for your clients.
Not long ago, a client asked me to deliver something that I knew was not in their best interest. On the surface, it seemed like a straightforward request. But had I gone ahead with it, it would have undermined the very outcomes we were working towards.
I had two choices: nod politely and do as asked, or pause, explain my perspective, and risk a difficult conversation.
I chose the latter. Respectfully, I explained why their request might hurt their long-term goals and suggested an alternative approach. There was resistance at first, but after we unpacked the reasoning together, they agreed. In the end, standing my ground not only protected the project, but also strengthened our working relationship.
Parenting Meets Consulting
That moment reminded me of parenting. If I said yes to every one of my son’s requests, he would eat ice cream for dinner and skip school whenever he wanted. He would be happy in the short term, but it wouldn’t serve him in the long run.
The same principle applies in consulting. Our role isn’t to blindly execute every request, it is to guide, advise, and sometimes say no when it’s in the client’s best interest.
Why Clients Bring in Consultants
It is worth keeping in mind that clients bring in consultants precisely because they have recognised a need for external guidance. Often, it is because they don’t have the right expertise in-house, or because they want foresight that goes beyond their immediate perspective.
Another reason is proximity. When you are deeply embedded in a system, judgment can be clouded by internal factors such as vested interests, organisational politics, or simply being too close to the problem. Consultants provide that outside lens, helping to cut through bias, surface blind spots, and keep the bigger picture in focus.
If all we do is mirror back what the client already believes, we are not delivering value. The real value comes from clarity, neutrality, and the courage to guide clients toward solutions they might not have considered on their own.
The Challenge: Saying “No” Without Losing Trust
We have all been there: a client insists on a particular deliverable, timeline, or method that we know won’t serve them. Saying no outright can feel risky. Will they see us as difficult? Will they think we are not responsive? Will it jeopardize the relationship?
Handled poorly, push-back can create friction. But handled well, it can strengthen trust by showing clients that you are not just a service provider, but a true partner invested in their success.
Five Parenting Lessons for Handling Client Push-Back
Here are five things I have learned from parenting that also make a big difference when it comes to handling client push-back gracefully:
1. Acknowledge before redirecting.
Clients want to feel heard. Start with empathy: “I see why you’d want to go that route…”. This diffuses tension and shows you are listening before gently steering them elsewhere.
2. Connect to the bigger picture.
Anchor the discussion in the agreed long-term goals: “Remember, our priority was sustainability. This option might deliver faster results, but it risks hindering progress later.”
3. Offer alternatives, not just rejection.
A flat “no” rarely works. Propose one or two viable options that meet the client’s underlying concern while staying true to the strategy.
4. Use evidence and examples.
Storytelling and data are powerful. Share precedents: “Here’s what happened in a similar project when this path was taken…”. This helps move the discussion from “what I think” to “what we know.”
5. Frame it as partnership, not opposition.
Always stay on the same side of the table: “Our shared goal is to get you the best outcome. Here is why this path supports that better.” This positions you as an ally, not a blocker.
Closing Reflection
With my client, just like with my son, saying no was never about rejection. It was about care, guidance, and keeping the bigger picture in focus.
Whether in parenting or consulting, the greatest value we bring isn’t in how often we say yes, but in how wisely we choose when to say no.
💬 How do you handle push-back from clients? What strategies, lessons, or even hard-won experiences have helped you navigate those moments with grace? Share your thoughts in the comments, your perspective might be exactly what another professional needs to hear.
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