Hola,
Autumn has arrived, and the trees are looking incredibly beautiful with their annual show. The colours that they present are phenomenal, a cascade of golds, ambers and fiery reds. I love the crunch of the leaves under my feet when walking and the vibrant colours on display as I drive. I have been doing a series on my socials on how to brighten your days with plants, both indoor and outdoors, specifically for those of us who suffer from seasonal depression, as the sun seems to hide more than it shines during this time. Many of us feel this shift not just in the air, but in our bodies and moods. The sun is part of our health; its absence can leave us feeling heavy, foggy or low, so I thought I would provide a bit of sunshine in the form of plants.
I left my job for several reasons that I won't divulge, and I receive rejections from every job I apply for, so life is extremely tough right now. I have been doing odd gardening jobs, setting up stalls locally, and listing plants on Facebook Marketplace. It is a nightmare with people constantly asking if a plant is available, then tumblerweed or asking for a discounted price, but it's not enough to survive, let alone thrive. I woke up this morning with a cold, so I feel like crap.
I do have some good news, though a friend's friend had a stray kitten turn up on their boat yard, and they thought of me, which was kind. So, Eve (named by my youngest son, who turns 18 next month), is now part of our family. Eve is incredibly loving, and I am definitely not used to so much affection. Her trumps smell super bad; having a heightened sense of smell is no fun, let me tell you. In all honesty, I wanted a cat for him because he has been having a tough time lately with his apprenticeship ending due to the company he was working for going into administration. He struggled to find a job for a while, but he has one now, and he is grateful, even though it's not what he really wants to do. He told me recently what he really would love to do, and I need to make it a possibility for him. As with everything, money is necessary to make that happen. So I have been trying to come up with ideas.
I have been creating t-shirt designs to try to sell, and today I have started building a course that I think will be beneficial to a lot of people How to create your own chemical free cleaning products - Payhip. The first part is free so that you can get a taste of the rest of the included content. I also have a collaboration in the mix with the 1% for the Planet, which means that 1% of the profits from my business will go to my chosen charity. I have chosen the Jane Goodall Institute UK | Join the Conservation Movement, as it is obviously close to my heart. I have also had three of my artworks professionally printed. A local charity shop is allowing artists and crafters to display their products in their window. The bad news is that they want 50% of the selling price, which leaves me with very little profit. It's a charity for animals, which is a good cause, but there is no guarantee I will sell any of them. Life is almost impossible without money. Part of me is thinking F**k it, I will go, and live off the land in the woods somewhere, and the other part is saying No, you can do this (said in the accent of that dude on Happy Gilmore). I literally have no choice, or that's what it feels like. I am so tired of being hungry, and the lack of nutrients is affecting both my body and brain.
I have had countless men coming at me for guess what, shallow s**t like sex or a distraction (they don't get it). I am trying not to become a man-hater, but they sure do make it difficult by sending me messages at 3 am. It's a good job that those messages didn't wake me up, because I would be even angrier. I hate that I am always a drunk thought for married men. I cried today for the first time in a long time, probably because I feel ill, coupled with all of the constant stress of my own life, and this ridiculous planet. I have been doing quite a bit of writing. I have four book ideas that constantly spin in my brain, and I have been doing quite a few courses to educate myself. There is so much that I need to do, but right now I plan to bathe, and if I drank alcohol, I would be getting drunk, but I don't, so I will just continue to sip on my lemon and honey drink.
I hope your life is better than mine lol, but if it's not, I see you, and I feel your pain.
Muchos love x