Healing Isn't Always Pretty, But It's Necessary

I have to be completely honest with y'all.

The past two weeks have been emotionally draining. But as I sit here today, I can honestly say I feel peace and joy.

Sometimes we have to make hard decisions that we never wanted to make. Not because we don't love that person, but because we've finally learned to love ourselves more.

Recently, I had to officially cut ties with someone I loved deeply. I had to make the decision to stand up for myself and recognize that I deserve more than what I was receiving.

For years, I stayed in a place of hurt, pain, disappointment, and hope. I kept waiting for someone else to make it better. I was placing my worth and my healing in another person's hands.

The truth is, it was never their responsibility to heal me.

It wasn't their responsibility to say everything I needed to hear. It wasn't their responsibility to become the person I hoped they would be. Sometimes we create a vision of who someone could be and hold onto that version instead of accepting who they are.

When you dream about a future with someone, you imagine a life built on trust, honesty, and character. But sometimes people can only wear a mask for so long before their true colors begin to show.

And if we're being honest, sometimes we see the red flags but choose to ignore them because we don't want the truth to be true.

This experience hurt me more than I can explain. Having someone reach out to me unexpectedly brought up emotions I thought I had already dealt with. At first, I was angry.

I remember saying, "How dare the devil interrupt my peace?"

Then a big sister in Christ, someone I recently met, challenged my thinking.

She asked me, "Why are you upset that the devil did exactly what he's supposed to do?"

That question stopped me in my tracks.

She reminded me that attacks will come. Difficult moments will come. Temptations, disappointments, heartbreak, and setbacks will come. The question isn't whether they'll happen. The question is whether we're prepared when they do.

Last week, I told everyone I was okay. I told myself I was strong.

But the more I sat with my thoughts, replayed conversations, and revisited old wounds, the more I realized the hurt was still there.

Talking with her brought me unexpected peace because I realized something important:

This wasn't a setback.

This was the beginning of real healing.

I can't encourage others to heal if I'm unwilling to do the work myself.

So yesterday, I took a two-mile walk. I ate a good lunch. I talked with my big sister. Most importantly, I prayed.

I asked God to take away the hurt.

She encouraged me to keep praying that prayer until I no longer felt the need to.

Growing up, I was taught that repeating the same prayer meant you weren't growing spiritually. But she gave me a biblical perspective that changed everything.

She pointed me to Matthew 7:7:

"Keep asking, and it will be given to you; keep seeking, and you will find; keep knocking, and the door will be opened to you."

She explained that the language in this scripture is active and ongoing. Jesus wasn't telling us to ask once and move on. He was teaching us to persist.

To keep asking.

To keep seeking.

To keep knocking.

In that moment, I realized I wasn't wrong for repeatedly asking God to heal my heart.

I wasn't weak because I needed Him again today.

I wasn't lacking faith because I prayed the same prayer more than once.

I simply needed to press into Him more deeply and trust Him with the parts of me that were still hurting.

Healing isn't easy.

In fact, it's one of the hardest journeys you'll ever take.

But I believe with my whole heart that God can restore what pain tried to destroy. I believe He can heal wounds that people never apologized for. I believe He can make us whole again.

Today, I'm choosing to place my life in God's hands.

And for the first time in a long time, I feel peace knowing He has me.

A Reflection for Anyone Who Is Hurting

If you're in a season of heartbreak, disappointment, betrayal, or grief, don't give up.

Keep asking God to heal you.

Keep asking Him to order your steps.

Keep asking Him to make you whole.

One day you'll wake up and realize you're not carrying the same weight anymore.

I saw a video recently where a woman said, "Keep going to the gym because one day you'll wake up and be the person you've been working toward."

Healing works the same way.

You may not notice the progress every day. Some days you'll feel like you're moving backward. Some days you'll cry. Some days you'll question whether anything is changing.

But if you keep showing up, keep praying, keep doing the work, and keep trusting God, one day you'll wake up and realize you're healed from something that once broke you.

So don't let the enemy distract you or convince you that your progress isn't real.

Sometimes the very thing that tries to shake you is the thing God uses to strengthen you.

Keep going.

Your healing is closer than you think.

— Jewell ❤️