Two days ago, I was completely wiped out. I lay on my couch, paralyzed by a heavy cloud of anxiety and a recurring, suffocating thought: I don’t want to be here.
The unstoppable, badass queen who was born in Zanzibar was nowhere to be found. Instead, I felt trapped, wishing I could just escape my own life. And the worst part? I was the one who had locked myself in.
Before leaving Zanzibar, I had made a completely "logical" plan to stay in Sweden over the summer and return in September or October. It made sense on paper:
- We had a potential buyer for my mom's apartment, so I thought I’d use the summer to pack and hand over the keys.
- Summer in Sweden means the peak outdoor dance season (for those who don’t know me, I breathe Salsa and Kizomba!).
- I had some health-related things to sort out.
- It’s high season in Zanzibar during summer, meaning prices skyrocket.
Sitting under the African sun, that plan felt solid. But after being back in Sweden for less than a week? My body and soul literally revolted. I couldn't stand it.
As I lay on that couch, feeling completely drained, a sudden realization hit me like a lightning bolt:
Who the fuck said I have to wait until autumn?
The apartment buyers had pulled out. Everything else on my to-do list could be sorted in a matter of weeks. So what if it’s high season? It will figure itself out.
The moment I allowed myself to change my mind, a massive wave of pure relief washed over me. In my workbook CAN'T BELIEVE I DID THAT, I actually talk about this exact feeling as one of my core soul lessons: when you feel that deep, sudden internal relief, it is your soul’s way of confirming that you’ve made the right decision.
I don't know exactly how it will all solve itself yet, but I am leaving the details to the Universe. All I know is that I have to go back. Not in autumn. Now.
Yesterday, I did a tarot reading that perfectly mirrored this entire experience. It made me reflect on a universal truth that so many of us struggle with: the mental cages we trap ourselves in.
There was no physical wall keeping me in Sweden. There was no external force forcing me to stick to a plan that was draining my life force. I built that cage.
We do this all the time. We create rules, timelines, and expectations based on logic that doesn’t even make sense to our spirit. We inherit other people's standards of what "responsible" looks like. We get so caught up in the routine of survival and executing plans that we completely miss the fact that we are the ones holding the key to our own prison.
There is a powerful saying that perfectly captures this:
"When you understand that your cage is made of thoughts, you'll be free."
And it’s true. The moment I shifted my thoughts from “I have to stay because of my plan” to “I can leave whenever I want,” the prison door swung wide open.
During my own transformation, learning to recognize when I was putting myself in a mental cage was a game-changer. It’s a practice of constant awareness. If you feel heavy, stagnant, or anxious, stop looking at what’s wrong with the world around you and start looking at the invisible rules you’ve set for yourself.
You are allowed to change your mind. You are allowed to choose peace over a plan that no longer serves you.
If you are ready to break down your own mental walls and start living at your true frequency, I dive deep into the exact tools and psychological shifts I used during my own journey in my workbook. Don't wait for autumn, and don't wait for permission.
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