Departments

50 procedures. Thousands of words. Absolutely no improvement in staffing levels.

Welcome to the complete F.A.F.F. collection, where every minor inconvenience deserves a formal procedure, every common-sense decision requires management approval, and somewhere in Head Office, somebody is genuinely proud of all this paperwork.

From dealing with difficult customers to surviving Head Office initiatives, we've brought together all 50 gloriously unnecessary 3 Page Standard Operating Procedures in one magnificent bundle.

Written with all the confidence of a Senior Leadership Team that hasn't worked a Saturday night behind the bar in twenty years.

Because if there's one thing hospitality needs, it's more paperwork.

WHAT YOU GET — 50 GLORIOUSLY UNNECESSARY 3 PAGE SOPs

The complete collection of 50 F.A.F.F. Standard Operating Procedures, covering the everyday chaos, characters, contradictions and spectacular nonsense of working in hospitality.

Including the sort of procedures nobody asked for, nobody has time to read, and somebody at Head Office will inevitably insist are mandatory.

All 50 SOPs. One complete bundle.

No need to purchase individual procedures or smaller collections separately.

SUGGESTED MISUSE

Print the entire collection and leave it in the General Manager's office marked URGENT — NEW COMPANY POLICY.

Distribute selected procedures at your next team meeting. Leave the Head Office ones somewhere a Regional Director might find them.

Or present the complete collection to the person who insists every problem can be solved with another process.

For maximum impact, request written confirmation that all 50 procedures have been read, understood and signed off.

Then arrange a follow-up meeting to discuss compliance.

GET THE COMPLETE BUNDLE

50 executive-approved masterpieces of operational overcomplication.

Every F.A.F.F. SOP in one collection.

Perfect for pub managers, bartenders, chefs, hospitality veterans and anyone who's ever been told, "It's all in the SOP."

No additional training required. Just a sense of humour, a healthy distrust of Head Office and the ability to complete a risk assessment before changing a lightbulb.