Why do we feel guilty when we finally decide to do something for ourselves?
Let me tell you a story.
If you knew me personally or read some of my previous life musings here, you would know that about ten years ago, I pivoted in my career and left a 16-year job at one company because being there was no longer a way to continue with my life in an aligned, healthy way —mentally and physically.
It was the moment when I knew—with absolute clarity—that the environment I was in no longer matched who I was or what I valued. The decision to leave wasn’t impulsive; it was years in the making. Precisely, two and a half years. Those were the most challenging years in my career.
And still—guilt shows up.
Guilt about what the change might cost. Guilt about the stability I was leaving behind. Guilt about the people who wouldn’t understand, whose good intentions gradually became noise I could no longer afford to hear.
What I didn’t expect was what came after.
When you finally make a choice that’s truly yours—not the safe one, not the expected one, but the aligned one—something shifts. Your commitment stops being divided. It comes back home to you.
You feel free again, almost as if you were living in a different life before—one you didn't control.
Yet, somehow, you keep fighting.
Fighting the old chapter with all its nonsense and the faulty thinking that takes over, every step of the way. The guilt trips are endless.
Every tough moment you face in your new chapter becomes a “I told you so,” “you shouldn't have taken that leap,” conversation with yourself—day after day.
You might wonder, " Is this normal? Absolutely.
In fact, it’s a vital part of any transition we go through. It’s when we are tested for our choices and the natural outcomes when we pass the test. None of these moments is free of guilt. None of these moments is easy.
It’s in these moments that we stand on our own ground, work on ourselves, and see if we stand the test of time and choice.
What I want to say, though, is that for every difficult moment we face in the new chapter is dozens more aha moments that prove that it was all worth it.
This could mean spending more meaningful time with your family. Gaining full autonomy in your work after starting your own business, and watching it grow right before your eyes. Or finally having the time and energy to pursue a hobby.
Whatever those aha moments are for you.
You realize that the unknown isn't a space to fear, but a blank page of pure possibility.
That guilt echoes the old life, but freedom, hope, and alignment shape what comes next.
Until next time…
Doaa
**Going deeper on this for the Your Next Chapter community on Substack — the psychology behind it, offering a CBT simple tool to move through it.