We all know them. Everyone has at least one toxic person in their lives. They may be close relatives or friends, which is why it may be impossible to get away from them. They can be draining, upsetting and make you feel bad about yourself. However, there are some things you can do to deal with these toxic people. Keep reading for more information.
The first thing you can do, if at all possible, is to slowly cut down the time that you spend with these people. Toxic people usually love to be heard and spread rumours. Usually, they are the ones calling you all the time. You need to be able to tell them no by setting boundaries. If they call more than once a day, their messages can go to voicemail. If they want to see you multiple times a week, cut that down to once a week and again boundaries need to be set. If you can't avoid them altogether, do your best to reduce interactions with them.
The next thing you might want to do is to examine why they are so toxic to you. This is something you can do on your own, a little soul searching. Asking yourself why they trigger your negative feelings. Are you afraid you will end up like them? Are you sad that they are that way and maybe it is you that is attracting that energy? Get to the root of why you feel the way you do toward them, you maybe will find other ways to cope by personally outlining all the ways you are both different.
You may try talking to them. I would venture that they do not even realize that you find them to be negative or toxic. You owe them a chance to sit down and talk but remember they will likely become agitated as anyone can when being confronted. Try not to be confrontational. Do not call them toxic, that is a direct emotional challenge. Instead, choose a few specific actions that they take, which you don't like. Be prepared for them reminding you of your actions. If they are willing to compromise, that is a good sign. If they become belligerent and start attacking you, back off and walk away when you can and shake off that toxic energy. They might just come around or they might not.
Do your best not to get into a debate with a toxic person. Toxic people like to argue and are easily agitated. This is generally because they want to be in control of something, and when they can't control you, they don't like it. However, you don't need to get into every argument they want to have with you. Simply take a few deep breaths and think about peaceful things. I tend to visualize sitting on the beach and listening to the waves splash on shore (I lived a few houses from Lake Huron most of my life then after that Lake Superior). When they see you are not going to argue with them, they will stop.
Search out new friends to spend time with. Seak out like-minded people. To make sure that you can move on, start finding supportive people to talk to and do things with. This can be a great way for you to forget about the toxic people in your life. If you are spending time with good friends, you won't have that much time to deal with any toxicity.
Toxic people are everywhere, just go to a grocery or hardware store. I am highly empathic so learning to protect myself from the negative energy was and is a work in progress and every day is a new learning experience. We all have to deal with them. Use these 6 suggestions above to help you feel much more calm and peaceful.
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