When I first imagined motherhood, I had this picture in my mind: I’d be able to balance it all—have a career I love, raise well-educated kids, and somehow keep everything running smoothly. After all, isn’t that what society suggests we can (and should) do? Have it all?
Well, I’m here to tell you that the reality of motherhood, career, and education has been much more complicated than I ever anticipated.
I became a full-time stay-at-home mom in 2017 after realizing I simply couldn’t afford daycare. It was a hard decision. I had dreams of working while my children thrived, but financially, it wasn’t feasible. I thought this would just be a brief pause, a temporary shift in gears until I could return to work.
Fast forward to 2022 when I sent my first child off to public school. I had hoped for an experience that would set them up for success. But despite the fact that my state had passed dyslexia laws back in 2019, things didn’t go as planned. The school was still using whole language and "balanced literacy" practices, which are not backed by research.
I knew there was a better way. Research-based structured literacy is what my child needed, but the school refused to make the shift. After months of battling to get the right support for my child, we withdrew from the public school system. We tried virtual school next, which did offer better literacy support, but there were still huge gaps. I had to be the one to monitor everything—basically, I became an unpaid paraprofessional. It was exhausting.
And let me tell you: the state of the virtual program wasn’t any better. The math lessons were unclear, and they relied heavily on technology with zero oversight. My child could easily click through lessons without actually absorbing the material. It was a mess.
In the end, we pulled out of virtual school and went full-time homeschool. I’ll be honest—things got easier. The stress was reduced because I could control the pace, the curriculum, and the environment. But here’s the catch: while my kids were thriving academically, they lacked consistent socialization with their peers. There were no classmates to bond with, no recess friendships to foster. It was a different kind of struggle.
Fast-forward to 2025, and my kids asked to return to public school. I was hesitant but hopeful. With new structured literacy laws and a ban on the three-cueing method, I thought things might finally be different. But guess what? We’re still seeing the same whole language programs pushed by the big publishing companies. There are some signs of change, but it’s clear that these programs are still the dominant force in education.
Even worse, I’ve learned that some teachers are cheating on their LETRS training, using Google images and Pinterest to pass tests. It’s disheartening. And frankly, I’m not sure how much has really changed in terms of empowering educators with the tools they need to succeed.
At this point, I’ve been a public school mom, a homeschool mom, a virtual school mom, and a stay-at-home mom. And here’s what I’ve realized: No one has it better. No one.
I even tried to be a substitute teacher at my kids’ school, thinking I could contribute and still be involved. But the reality is that the assignments are scheduled around carpool drop-off and pickup times. It was impossible to balance.
If I’m being totally honest, I think I could be better off doing a 9-5 work-from-home job if I were still homeschooling. Either way, it feels like I’m expected to neglect my role as a mother in order to maintain a career or generate an income.
So, right now, I’m trying to make it all work. I’m a full-time student, part-time online tutor, and a self-published author, trying to supplement our household income. It’s not glamorous, and it’s definitely not the life I envisioned for myself. But it’s the reality I’m living.
And you know what? I can’t say that I’d recommend anyone to have kids today. The system is broken, the cost of living is higher than ever, and raising children in today’s world feels like an uphill battle. But I also don’t regret having my kids. I love them fiercely, and I would never trade them for anything.
Ultimately, I’ve learned that no income level is perfect for having kids. Some families have resources, others don’t. Every situation comes with its own set of challenges. The reality is that there’s no one-size-fits-all solution for motherhood and career.
I’m just being honest about mine.
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