De-escalation Phrases Poster: Say This, Not That and Teen Calm Down Menu, High School

Free de escalation phrases for teachers and paras working with teens: a Say This, Not That poster with 12 phrase swaps, a teen calm down menu, and lanyard cards.

Most tense moments get worse because of the first thing an adult says. These are the swaps I teach staff, plus a reset menu students can use before things get big.

**What's inside (4 pages):**

• Page 1: Say This, Not That poster. 12 phrase swaps ("Calm down" becomes "I can see this is hard. I'm right here."), plus voice, body, and goal reminders.

• Page 2: My Reset Menu. A 9 choice calm down board for teens, a 2 minute plan, and cut out "I need a break" and "I need help" cards.

• Page 3: Pocket Phrases. 8 cut apart lanyard cards, 3 phrases each, sorted by moment (upset, refusing, loud, shut down, arguing, coming back, after, and one for you).

• Page 4: Want more? Links to the full calm + safe tools.

**Great for:**

• Staff meetings and para training

• Sub folders

• Calm corners and resource rooms

• Advisory and counseling groups

**Pairs with these full resources:**

These are verbal supports for everyday tense moments, not crisis training. If anyone is unsafe, follow your school's emergency plan.

Made by Jeremy D. Gooch, special education teacher and transition coordinator. Drafting and layout had AI assistance; every page was checked by me.