Free Guide: 5 Things That Accidentally Make Demand Avoidance Worse (and What to Do Instead)

If you’re supporting a child who avoids everyday demands, you’ve probably noticed something that doesn’t quite add up:

The more you explain, encourage, or try to motivate…

The more resistance you sometimes see.

This isn’t a lack of effort.

It’s often a mismatch between standard strategies and a nervous system that perceives demands as threats.

This short, practical guide will help you understand why that happens, and what to do differently.

Inside this free guide:

You’ll learn 5 common, well-intentioned approaches that can unintentionally increase demand avoidance, including:

• Using rewards or consequences during escalation
• Explaining and reasoning in the moment
• Giving direct instructions that trigger resistance
• Blocking opt-out behaviours
• Overlooking the role of adult regulation

And most importantly:

What to do instead. Using simple, research-informed shifts you can apply immediately in the classroom

Why this matters

When a child is in a threat response, their brain is not able to:

• process reasoning
• respond to rewards
• follow instructions in the usual way

This guide helps you adjust your approach so you can:

• reduce escalation
• support regulation
• increase access to learning

Who this is for:

• Teachers and teaching assistants
• SENCOs and pastoral staff
• School professionals supporting children with PDA or high-demand-related anxiety 

This guide is not about doing things “wrong.”

It’s about understanding the mechanism behind behaviour, so your response can be more effective and more supportive.

Ready to go deeper?

This guide is an introduction.

The full resource:

“Working with PDA in School: A Low-Demand, Nervous-System Informed Toolkit for Staff”

takes this further with:

• The full anxiety escalation ladder with staff responses
• The Enhanced Choice Model (how, where, when)
• Low-demand language frameworks
• Safe opt-out systems
• Staff planning tools and implementation support

Explore the full toolkit

You don’t need to change everything.

Pick one shift from this guide and try it this week.

Small changes, applied consistently, can make a meaningful difference.