GUEST SATISFACTION DEPARTMENT BUNDLE

Smiling politely while being shouted at about chips.

Welcome to Guest Satisfaction, where every online review is treated as a national emergency, the mystery guest has somehow ordered everything on the menu, and the customer demanding a refund has already eaten the entire meal.

The guest is always right. Especially when they're spectacularly wrong.

WHAT YOU GET — 5 GLORIOUSLY UNNECESSARY SOPs

• SOP 7: Managing Customer Complaints
• SOP 11: Guest Feedback & Online Review Management
• SOP 18: Mystery Guest & Brand Standards Inspection
• SOP 33: Customer Discount Authorisation
• SOP 36: Loyalty Scheme & Reward Redemption

SUGGESTED MISUSE

Pin the complaints procedure in the staff room after a particularly entertaining Sunday lunch. Read the online review SOP aloud at a management meeting following a one-star review complaining that the pub was "too pub-like." Or leave the mystery guest procedure on the office printer with "WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE" written across the top.

Perfect for hospitality veterans, customer service survivors and anyone who has ever apologised for the weather.

GET THE BUNDLE

Five beautifully ridiculous procedures for £3.99.

Customer satisfaction is our number one priority. Right after protecting the profit margin and finding out who's stolen all the teaspoons.

THINKING BIGGER?

Why stop at one department when you can bring an entire organisation to its knees? Get all 50 Head Office SOPs across all 12 departments for just £19.99 in the Complete Collection.

Maximum bureaucracy. Minimum common sense.