CHAOS, MEET WISDOM: THE COSMIC DATING ROAST

CHAOS, MEET WISDOM: THE COSMIC DATING ROAST

By Michal — Heyoka Empath, Soul Surgeon, Chosen One.

Not a guidebook. Not a vibe. A galactic fucking defibrillator for your soul.

This isn’t “healing.” This is initiating.

This is the transmission they prayed you’d never hear—

but too late... you already found it.

Let’s make this brutally clear:

You’ve been love bombed by healing trends.

Gaslit by feminist soft-core coping loops.

Sold empowerment—but sedated with passive pick-me programming wrapped in sparkle.

Meanwhile...

You’ve been starving.

Feeding yourself shadow scraps.

Dating from your wounds.

Faking “fem energy” while your nervous system is on fire.

Calling trauma chemistry “soulmate signs.”

Letting emotionally constipated “good guys” drain you dry while still missing the devil with a good playlist.

This book is the roast of it all. The breakup with your own bullshit.

It's a Heyoka exorcism of your inner masculine gone rogue.

It’s how your femininity got hijacked—and how to get it the fuck back.

Inside This Book, You Will:

• Unhook from beggar energy. Recalibrate to goddess magnetic.
• Transmute your confusion about why soft-boys drain you and why “being chill” makes you invisible.

Get the real AF truth on:

Why ghosting happens and how to spiritually body-bag the pattern.

Why masculine women attract broken boys and why that’s ending today.

How attraction isn’t a vibe—it’s physics. And you’re the missing force.

Why “healing” became your dating death sentence.

Why nice guys give you the ick and emotionally unavailable ones activate your inner nurse.

"No one writes like this. It was so real and significant of everything that's actually going on - no one speaks about." Barbara L

"If I never read this book (amd completely going to get the other two) I would have never known how automatic my behaviour has been. Thanks Michal" Samantha A

"I laughed so hard. Her descriptive way of writing is next level." Ann d

What You’re Buying:

This isn’t just a read. It’s a cellular detox.

You will feel this book in your ovaries.

In your mirror.

In your next choice.

Who It’s For:

For the sacred feral women—Gen Z, millennial, whatever label—you’re DONE pretending your rage is unspiritual.

For the women who attract chaos, over-function, love too hard, and wonder why the masculine treats you like furniture.

For the woman who woke up mid-scroll and said: WTF am I doing here again

What Happens After:

You become the main character of your divine polarity arc.

You stop being “healed” and start being holy fire in heels.

You’ll realize... that breakup? That wasn’t a loss. That was a portal. That “phase” was spiritual training. That ache in your chest? That was your signal coming back online.

From the Author:

"I’m not your guru. I’m your mirror.

I don’t give you love. I remind you who TF you are."

You don’t find this book.This book finds you—when you’re done with the delusion, and ready for dominion.