How to Make the World Even Smaller

A chapbook of 34 poems about medical gaslighting, mystery symptoms, pain and fatigue, being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia as a child, and COVID. I started writing poems about chronic illness as a way to cope with the confusion and medical gaslighting I experienced during the summer that I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's Disease.

A new pain

Or the same old pain

Doesn't matter, it still feels like

An emergency

I stare at my skin as if staring at it

long enough might reveal my insides

Help me locate the source of the pain

As if there's only one source

The source is genetics / wear and tear / climate change / the stress of capitalism / a past trauma,

And nothing

All at once

If I go to the ER they might treat me like it's all in my head

Or they'll just say “there's nothing we can do for you”

So I wait until the pain fades into the background

Which isn't the same as pain stopping entirely

But it's close enough