A Friend’s Guide to Grief

A Friend’s Guide to Grief

How to show up for someone you love when you don’t know what to say

Someone you love is grieving. And you want to help — but you don’t know how.

You’re worried about saying the wrong thing. About making it worse. About turning up and not knowing what to do with yourself. So maybe you’ve sent a card, said “let me know if you need anything”, and waited.

That uncertainty is one of the most human things there is. And it’s also, without meaning to be, one of the loneliest things a grieving person can experience.

You don’t need the right words. You just need to be willing to stay.

This guide is for anyone who loves someone who is grieving and wants to show up for them — properly, practically, and without accidentally making things harder. It’s written with honesty, warmth, and a deep respect for how complicated grief really is. Because grief isn’t a phase. It isn’t something people get over. And the people who make the biggest difference are the ones who understand that — and keep showing up anyway.

What’s inside

• What grief actually is — and why it lasts so much longer than the world expects

• How to use clear, honest language — why saying “died” matters more than you think

• What to say and what not to say — with an honest look at why well-meant phrases can hurt

• How to make specific, practical offers instead of leaving decisions to someone who’s exhausted

• Real examples of what showing up actually looks like — from food and childcare to sitting in the silence

• The practical and legal side of loss — and how you can help carry that weight

• How to support someone over months and years, not just the first two weeks

• A quick-reference Do and Don’t guide to keep coming back to

This guide is for you if:

• Your friend, sister, colleague, or neighbour has recently lost someone

• You’ve been saying “I’m here if you need me” but haven’t known how to do more

• You’re scared of saying the wrong thing so you’ve gone a bit quiet

• You want to be genuinely helpful — not just in the first two weeks, but over time

This guide was written by Becca Worthington — grief support coach, psychotherapy student, and someone who has navigated the loss of a husband, a brother, a father, and a father-in-law. This isn’t theory. It’s hard-won understanding, offered gently.

£9 · Instant download · Printable PDF

Also available as a bundle with the Grief First Aid Kit — both for £15. Find it in the shop.