The Hoovering Decoder

Is This Accountability—or an Attempt to Regain Access?

A therapist-created reflection guide for recognizing hoovering patterns and making intentional choices.

They reached out again.

Maybe they said they miss you. Maybe they apologized. Maybe they suddenly need your help. Maybe they promised they've changed.

And now you're wondering:

“Is this real change—or am I being pulled back into the same cycle?”

The Hoovering Decoder was created to help you slow down, recognize familiar patterns, and evaluate what is actually happening before you respond.

Inside this 10–15 page guide:

• What hoovering is and what it can look like

• 10 common hoovering patterns

• The Accountability Test

• The Consistency Test

• The Urgency Test

• A nervous-system and 5-senses reflection exercise

• A Before-You-Respond worksheet

• Boundary and response prompts

• Recovery and self-trust reflections

This isn't about telling you what decision to make.

It's about helping you pause, observe the pattern, and make a decision from intention rather than emotional urgency.

Created by Jenny Gaston, MS, LPC, NCC

Licensed Professional Counselor • Restorative Therapy

Digital PDF download

Price: $2.99

Educational disclaimer: This resource is for psychoeducational purposes and is not psychotherapy, diagnosis, medical advice, legal advice, or a substitute for individualized mental-health care.