Welcome to Monkey Strength! The secret strength training program that monkeys don’t want you to know about. Soon you will be able to lift your grandmother over your head while dancing for her friends. Your cat will be so impressed! The Monkey Strength program was designed to be the safest, least expensive and most enjoyable way to gain muscle and increase your overall health and longevity without exhausting you. You don’t need any exercise equipment, just your flabby misshapen body and a desire to improve.
The Monkey Strength program at its core is a fun exercise progression system of increasingly harder strength based movements to advance through. You will start off as a lowly Donkey Bitch Apprentice doing downright embarrassing push ups against a wall while your friends laugh at you; and you will work your way through the 11 dimensions in your glorious journey towards becoming a Thunder Monkey Warlord doing 1 arm push ups while thunder literally erupts all around you.
You’ll heal any lingering back pain with the bridge movements, and kick arthritis in the face with the squat series. This is a full body program that will not only heal your entire body from chronic pain, but turn you into a lethal weapon of love and mystery. Seriously, be careful hugging people you might crush them.
Each week, your goal is simple; try to conquer your current dimension and move onto the next one. Easier said than done young monkey, but the sense of accomplishment you will feel as you advance through this series and visually start to see your body changing before your eyes will exhilarate and motive you to continue climbing the ladder all the way to Thunder Monkeyhood.
You will build a perfectly symmetrical physique in as little as 15 minutes a day. This is the easiest program on earth. You don’t need to spend hours in a gym to build a strong sexy body, in fact it’s not even healthy to do so. This program was designed for the average busy human who just wants to feel great and look amazing without dedicating their life to exercise. I don’t believe in stressing the body out too hard so relax your mind my friend this is not boot camp.
These exercises are short but intense which will build truly functional strength while preserving your joint health and energy reserves well into your 300th year. Your body will morph into a magnificent example of human potential while staying lean and tight year round. You won’t develop that unnatural looking bulky bodybuilder’s physique where you find yourself stiff, awkward and useless in the real world.
Monkey Strength will build strong dense muscle tissue which will be stronger pound for pound than any weight lifter, and you’ll be flexible enough to back flip your way down the street. You’ll reach your ideal body weight and develop an unassuming mystical strength that will leave people perplexed wondering how you got so strong for your size.
The best part about this program is the self development, knowing you are getting stronger, healthier and more mentally capable each week. I guarantee you will look forward to each exercise with your sights set on beating your reps from the previous week. Gone are the days of dreading exercise. You will have a target to crush every workout, and this will keep your mind hungry for improvement. All you have to do is focus on beating your record from last week, and you will not only build the body of your dreams, but you will also improve your overall health, heal old injuries, increase your energy, elevate your mood and increase your desire to achieve goals in all other areas of your life. You will become superhuman.
Most exercise regimes are designed to obtain maximum muscle growth in the shortest amount of time possible at the expense of your hormonal health. They literally set you up to crash and burn by working you too hard. Not Monkey Strength. As a Thunder Monkey; longevity, optimal health and unthinkable strength is your desire and you have the rest of your life to improve. This program is sustainable long term, and the slow and steady approach will actually build you up for the long haul and increase your energy in daily life instead of tearing you down for short term results that are impossible to maintain.
There’s also lots of useful information in this book which go far beyond just exercise. Tips to improve your diet no matter what your current eating plan is, how to intermittent fast and heal disease, as well as tips on developing that integral mental strength needed to help you become the best version of yourself possible. I’m super proud of this book, and my intention was that by reading it, you not only improve your life in all areas, but that you also enjoy the journey and laugh out loud as you learn. It’s a really funny book, but belly laughs don’t count as your ab workout monkey!
I even came up with creative ways to insult and motivate you should you ever be unable to complete an exercise. It’s my favourite part of the book. That’s 66 very strange tips to look forward to, and while they may not seem to offer very practical advice, you’ll soon wonder how you ever exercised without them.
In addition to the Monkey Strength book, you'll also receive a Monkey Strength Reps file where you can fill in your reps each week and keep track of your progress. You'll also receive a Monkey Strength Chart to track your progress visually. It's very simple, when you first start an exercise, you're an initiate to that dimension so fill the box in red. When you complete the apprentice stage fill it in yellow, and when you complete the warlord stage fill it in green and move onto the next dimension.
So take this journey young monkey. I will guide you through the jungle of life to become healthier, stronger and more confident than you’ve ever been in your entire life! If you think you have what it takes to become a Thunder Monkey, and I know you do, read on my friend.
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