Official Borrow My Shit Application — Funny Printable PDF

Apparently, “I’ll bring it back” isn’t legally binding—so now we need paperwork.

The Official Borrow My Shit Application is a six-page investigation for anyone attempting to borrow your clothes, charger, tools, Tupperware, vehicle, money, or anything else you would eventually like to see again.

Applicants will be questioned about:

• Their suspicious borrowing history

• Previously borrowed shit that mysteriously disappeared

• The item’s replacement and sentimental value

• Returning clothes clean and Tupperware with its lid

• Tool knowledge and vehicle qualifications

• Gas, missing pieces, damage, and late returns

• Lending your belongings to somebody else

• References and acceptable collateral

• The official Borrower’s Oath

The owner may approve the request, require supervision, deny it completely, or lovingly instruct the applicant to buy their own shit.

Perfect for:

• Friends and family

• Roommates

• Coworkers

• Neighbors

• Chronic borrowers

• Anyone still waiting for their charger, hoodie, container, or favorite tool to come home

You’ll receive one six-page printable PDF instantly after purchase.

Contains adult language and aggressively reasonable borrowing expectations.

This is a humorous novelty form and may not hold up in court—but it can absolutely be presented during every future argument concerning the whereabouts of your shit.

Digital product only. No physical item will be mailed.