I AM PURSUED BY A KING

 INTRODUCTION

I Am Pursued By A King

“A holy, restoring love that heals how we understand love.”

I didn’t always know I was being pursued.

If anything, I thought I was the one searching,

searching for peace, for safety, for something that felt like it would stay.

But the deeper truth was harder to accept.

I wasn’t searching.

I was running.

Running from pain I didn’t know how to name.

Running from memories that refused to stay buried.

Running from the quiet moments where everything inside me felt too loud.

And if I’m honest…

I was running from God.

Not because I didn’t believe in Him,

but because I didn’t understand Him.

I didn’t understand how a God who sees everything could still want me.

I didn’t understand how love could exist

without conditions attached to it.

Every version of love I had known

shifted, changed, withdrew, or broke.

So I learned to adapt.

I learned how to survive love,

not receive it.

And that’s where everything began to twist. Because when Jesus Christ started drawing near,

I didn’t recognize it as love.

I recognized it as a threat.

A threat to the walls I had built.

A threat to the control I had fought to maintain.

A threat to the version of myself that knew how to function without being fully seen.

Because being seen had never felt safe.