Plus-Sized Mukbang Hoes: I Only Hyucked Him Off in the Five Guys Bathroom for a Brand Deal, Now He’s My Emergency Contact

JUNIPER:

It was supposed to be a one-time thing. Sloppy top in a Five Guys bathroom. Sauce on my chesticles. His stick in my throat. The kind of unhinged marketing move that gets views and goes viral. I didn't even like him like that. He smelled too rich. Too smug. Too brand-approved. But then he called me baby, brought almond milk without asking, and came in with a contract and a dick I couldn’t quit.

I was just trying to get a check.

Now I’m showing up in his phone as wife material.

I should’ve ghosted him.

Instead, I let him film me doing the dirty while eating spicy tenders and forgot to turn the camera off.

BENNETT:

I’ve built empires off sweat and sex appeal. I’ve turned basic b’s into walking billboards and bland influencers into brands. But Juniper? She’s not just marketable. She’s addictive. One taste and I forgot every NDA I ever signed. Thick thighs. Sharp tongue. Smell like heaven after hell.

She used me over curly fries and ruined every clean girl I ever entertained.

I wanted a collab.

She gave me a crisis.

Now I’m raw-dogging love and building her a legacy with a boner and a pitch deck.

I made her my emergency contact.

And I’m never logging out.

The messiest romance you’ll ever crave.

Come for the food play. Stay for the raw feelings, the real stank, and the reckless, raunchy ride.

No filters. No shame. Just love, lube, and lemon pepper.