I don’t exactly know why, but having sex every night became the norm for me. I always felt lonely and in need of some TLC and sex, lots of it, seemed to be the only thing that could fill that need in me. Was it because I was depressed or could it perhaps be that I was some sort of sex maniac? I was confused. At one stage I thought I was sick in the head, but that couldn’t be, because I did have control over my sexual urges……… or so I thought.
At one time, my addiction almost tipped me over the edge. I felt like I was going insane or something. If the people in my life - my family, my friends, as well as the people I worked with, knew about my insatiable appetite for sex, they would have had me committed to an institution for sex addicts. None of these things happened though, because I became a master at disguising my addiction.
Little did I know just how much of a negative impact my addiction to sex would have on me at a later stage in my life. Also, that it would be me who would take the plunge and find the help that I so desperately needed to help me become a normal man.
I was worried that people would judge me, especially my parents, the rest of my family, my friends and work colleagues – all the people who knew me and cared for me. Often, when I felt those urges coming on, I would take a walk or drive around for a while to regain my self-control. Who would have thought that being a sex addict could be stressful enough to almost ruin a man’s life?
Life was good for as long as I could remember. My parents owned three houses and 13 vehicles and had R16 million in the bank. Then our world came crashing down when, through certain circumstances beyond their control, they lost everything. Not a word was said to our family and friends. Suddenly my life was in a shambles, to say the least.
I kept my cool for years and held onto my dignity because I was the only one working at the time. My mom and aunts praised me and all my cousins – I was the third eldest of them all, looked up to me. There was just no way that I could fuck up at that stage. I knew that I couldn’t let them down, but at the end of the day I was still a normal human being, with normal human wants and needs. Maybe it was all the stress I had to deal with, that was the cause of me becoming addicted to sex, I don’t know.
And then I became a flight cabin crew member……………..
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