This Ain’t Austin: A Guide for Newcomers with Sense (and a Sense of Humor)

📘 This Ain’t Austin: A Guide for Newcomers with Sense (and a Sense of Humor)

PREORDER NOW for just $7 — 30% off the launch price

A survival guide for small-town Texas—where waving is mandatory, snakes are seasonal, and casseroles are currency.

Welcome to the Hill Country. You made it. Now try not to mess it up.

Whether you just bought land in Mason, rented a fixer-upper in Junction, or landed in Menard with big dreams and no clue what a stickerburr is—this preorder edition is your unofficial, lovingly sassy orientation packet.

Inside, you'll find straight-up wisdom from real locals on how not to end up in the ER, the gossip column, or both. Learn what “come by sometime” really means, how to handle the town Square without a meltdown, and why you should always—always—check your boots before sliding ‘em on.

Here’s what’s inside:

• Waving 101: Why it matters, when to do it, and how not to look like a lost tourist
• Nature Rules: Don’t pet the bluebonnets, respect the rattlesnakes
• Shopping Survival: From Lowe’s roulette to produce stand jackpots
• Land & Livestock Laws: Before you get a goat or move a fence line
• How Not to Get Talked About: Spoiler—show up, shut up, bring pie

This isn’t your average relocation guide. It’s part etiquette, part humor, and part cultural decoder ring—designed to help newcomers blend in, stand out (in the right ways), and become part of the fabric of one of Texas’s most fiercely loved regions.

🗺️ Covers: Mason, Menard, Junction, Fredericksburg, and Brady

🧠 Written with: Community wisdom, sass, and survival instinct

📥 Preorder now for just $7 — PDF delivered straight to your inbox when the book drops.

Print it, mark it up, or keep it handy. You’re gonna use it.