Self Care means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness.
Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others.
You're downloading the very minute you're born. The environment you find yourself surrounded by is feeding you with information which leads to programing beliefs. It means your parents, your environment, your family and friends. As you’re growing, you are leaning how to survive in the environment around you. Your brain is taking in this feedback. Are you being told you’re a good little girl? A good little boy? Make Mommy and Daddy happy when you obey them. At times, you will test them. It’s these moments that we begin to track in our memory. When similar situations come up, our brain looks for a memory for a quick response regardless if it has been positive or negative. This is how behaviour is created. It is only by acknowledging the situation and taking time to ask yourself, is this really what you want can you ever make any changes. When you create positive actions, that create positive memories, then it becomes a new feedback loop, one that you have created to bring about a more Self Loving result. Here are 5 things to consider about Self Love.
#1 Emotionally - When you put others first, you make yourself less important.
It is so easy to become a people pleaser. When you’re always checked in with how others are feeling you don’t even know how to check in with yourself. Being agreeable may create peace in the moment, but it sets you up for an internal disconnect with your own feelings. Be okay and take time before you respond to others. Check in with your heart or your gut for a cue from your own body about what will be good for you. You may have to learn how to just say no. It will take a while for people to get used to the new you but once they do they will have a new respect for you.
#2 Relationally - Learn to take care of yourself. It will take the pressure off others.
Think of it this way. Only you know what you really need and sometimes this is not even clear to us. So if you are one of those people who expect others to make you happy you are in for a big disappointment. If you have people around you who try to make you happy, it will only be a matter of time before they to become exhausted with the attempts. How do I know, I’ve been there. Take responsibility for yourself and let the others off the hook. If you know what you need but can’t do it for yourself, you can ask for help, there’s nothing wrong with this. We living in a world where people are so willing to help but often times they just don’t know what to do. Once you learn to help yourself, you will become a positive role model for others. Inspiring and strong. Sure you may fail but look at the lessons to be learned.
#3 Physically and Scientifically Speaking - Every reason in the book to love yourself.
As I am not a physician, I will quote Dr. Christian Northrop - "As a doctor, let me tell you what self-love does: It improves your hearing, your eyesight, lowers your blood pressure, increases pulmonary function, cardiac output, and helps wiring the musculature. So, if we had a rampant epidemic of self-love then our healthcare costs would go down dramatically. So, this isn’t just some little frou-frou new age notion, oh love yourself honey. This is hardcore science."
#4 - Spiritually - In order to change our Outside World - We have to Change our Inside World.
The external world is a reflection of our thoughts, feelings and beliefs. All of those things lead to actions and behaviours that affect our world. As Wayne Dyer says: “Once you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” So go back to the essence of who we are, which is energy. Things are just a more permanent form of energy or thoughts that we hold onto. Once we change our thoughts, it loosens the energetic hold and can easily transform. Use intention about what you want to form the thoughts you want to think because these will create the actions and behaviours from which you will get results. One way or the other.
#5 - Mentally - Take Responsibility for our actions and stop Blaming.
Does this sound familiar? We go on a diet and expect everyone around us to know this and to not tempt you. You’re out with a friend and they order a tasty dessert. This is all it takes for you to give up and order the same for yourself. But then the blaming comes and you wonder - if they are your friend, why would they put temptation in your way. Or you sleep in and then it’s too late to do your exercise routine. You spend the balance of the day, being angry for having to go to work, for not having the time to do what you want, then you get angry with yourself. Blaming others and blaming ourselves is one of the lowest forms or emotional baggage. Take responsibility for your decision or lack of decision. Choose how you will behave next time and stand firm in this decision. Remember it only takes 5 seconds to change your history. Read up on Mel Robbins - 5 Second Rule.
When you practice Self Care by putting yourself first you are creating a positive energy field around you. This energy field will attract other positive energies. And so the feelings, the good vibrations grow. Trust yourself. Have Faith. Be Satisfied with small wins.