Nowadays, transparency functions like a valuable social asset. As we share more, the pressure to keep sharing grows. It's to where our vulnerability entered performance mode, forcing the creator to over perform or over share just to be believed or seen as a trusted source. But what happens when we turn our turn off the access? Is the emotional toll a worthwhile price to pay?
Making private matters public can result in feeling exposed, not being understood, or losing touch with our authentic selves. The concept of healing has turned into a trendy joke, with conversations lacking purpose and genuine practice.
As a writer, I've been there myself. When I meet someone facing similar struggles, I tend to over share. I feel happy when I run across someone with similar hardships. I speak more openly about my experiences, beliefs, and philosophy.
However, when it's all said and done, I still feel drained or judged for sharing pieces of my vulnerability. When writing online, I have to remind myself that I have given someone more access to me and my private life than I intended. It's hard to control sometimes because I know what it is like to have a complex problem with limited, outdated, or non-existent solutions or relevancy to the issue itself. It's not that I want endless attention. I just want someone to get me without judgement.
Validation in the wrong places can change a person's psyche and emotional literacy. In my professional life, I carried my "home issues" to work. It showed up in my recorded phone calls and coachings. This made the client I was working for uncomfortable. I nearly lost my job because of my over sharing habits.
After a conversation with my supervisor about my calls, something clicked internally. I used my discernment to find less extreme methods for coping. In time, I came to the realization that my sharing could inflict greater damage upon myself than offer any assistance. It's not for everyone to hear about my pregnancy loss or surviving domestic violence. Even though they're serious issues, we can't just bring them up anywhere, anytime.
If I could leave behind some wisdom for that someone special, especially a fellow over sharer, it would be this:
It’s perfectly okay to be a little mysterious. You never truly know who you’re talking to, and if you’re emotionally sensitive, it’s better to practice caution now rather than after someone hurts you. Because emotional healing is a long‑term process, setting boundaries before opening up—with anyone, familiar or not — is one of the strongest protections you can give yourself.
If you ever feel pressured to share more than you're ready for, say some grounding phrases like:
"Here are a few things I'm comfortable sharing, but I'd like to keep the rest private."
"I'm not ready to go deeper into that part, but thank you for asking."
"Can we switch subjects, please? I am not comfortable talking about this."
"This topic is a lot to handle right now, but I can clarify certain parts if needed."
These phrases protect your peace while still honoring the conversation. They help you stay in control while setting clear boundaries with others. And the best part is, people will respect you for it. If you come across someone who doesn’t, that’s okay—you can simply disengage or walk away with your emotions still intact.
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