Have you ever struggled to achieve a goal that means a lot to you but you just can’t seem to get your act in gear?
Found it tricky to commit to new actions that you know will help you lose the weight, win the promotion, get fitter?
Me too.
A few months ago I signed up to take part in a sponsored swim. I’ve done it before and although it’s a push, I know it’s not beyond me. But I also realise, it’s not something I can just get in a pool and do on the day.
It requires training, turning up and swimming those lengths.
And yet for some reason, I’ve hardly dipped a toe in the water. Weeks have gone past and all I’ve managed is a measly swim a week.
Obviously, I’ve had my list of reasons, of stories, that have been going around in my head about why I hadn’t made progress. The swim timing didn’t work, I didn’t feel 100%, it was a bit rainy, I’d rather sit at home and eat biscuits- on and on and on.
And then one moment, I can’t even remember when it was, out of nowhere, I had a sudden insight. And I realised that all of those excuses were simply stories I was telling myself.
It was exactly then that I saw through the fiction that I had created and I laughed at myself when I realised how absurd the previous self-deception had been.
And then all of a sudden, all there is, is this. There’s an event taking place and I’m going to get in the pool and just keep swimming until I have swum 200 lengths. Then I will out of the pool.
To get to that point, it seems to me that I need to go to the pool two or three times a week and swim. Over and over again.
That’s it - that’s all that’s required.
There’s no need for all the stories in my mind about how much faster everyone else is, how difficult it is, that my legs are hurting or my breathing is going crazy. No requirement for endless drama and storytelling in my mind and living the experience in my thoughts before I even get there.
There is spaciousness and swimming.
And this is how transformation works.
We see something fresh and new and then our behaviour automatically changes without willpower and struggling with motivation.
When it happens like this, it feels exciting and effortless and getting to this point, isn’t always easy but this is the essence of my work with my beautiful clients.
We have a gentle conversation, together we notice where stories are being told and then we start to allow those stories to unravel. And that’s how easy transformation can be.
So how can you do this for yourself?
- Pay attention to the thoughts you have about your goals. Notice if you are telling yourself stories about how difficult it’s going to be to achieve them and stop giving these your attention.
- Note that I said to just stop giving those negative thoughts any attention. There’s no need to analyse them or try and work out where they come from as this is just giving more thought and thinking to the “problem”, creating even greater barriers in your mind.
- Trust yourself more and start to play with the idea that if a goal’s difficult to achieve then in the moment that you are working towards it, you’ll know exactly what to do.
- Without overthinking, take one small step toward your goal. Chose whatever seems to make sense to you. Take an action and then take another action.
- At some point, along this journey, you may decide that you’ve done something that takes you away from achieving your goal. Remember it’s all information along the way. Don’t heap judgement or blame on yourself but with this new insight, take the next action that makes sense.
- The moral of this story: The less thinking we have on our minds the more effortless achieving our goals will be.