Honestly, though—I’m starting to feel like I accidentally triggered the England Prohibition Movement just by existing.
You know me, nothing on my mind but, money and alcohol.
So no shit, there I was. Walking the Tesco.
Said waddup to the homeless woman sitting outside. The usual.
She wasn’t in a talking mood. The last one asked for change and I gave her a fiver.
DO NOT READ:
internal Note to God- That’s a whopping $5 more than I’ve seen since I asked for my family’s support. Yet they’re still insistent on getting me back home. Oh well. But hey, sometimes even professional basketball players miss those layups during warmups. I haven’t lost faith in them, they’ll tackle their pride!
And if they’re piggy bank is empty, please give them the courage to speak up and ask me for spare change.
But right now, I can still hear some whispers in the wind:
“Honey, you’ve got big news coming to you if you think I’m supporting this delusional lifestyle.”
“Does he have any idea what this looks like to our family image?”
“He was such a bright boy. And now he’s… what? A Tesco philosopher?”
“Is he still writing those blogs? Oh God, someone please take away his Wi-Fi.”
“He used to have such nice hair.”
Music to my ears. Fuel in my engine.
But anyway, i digress.
Took a goofy selfie of me squatting.
Next thing I know, a clerk is marching over, telling me I’m not allowed to buy alcohol.
I look down at my hands, confused.
He goes into this whole detailed explanation about why it’s simply not possible. I haven’t even spoken word yet. (Good thing this wasn’t the gold exchange.)
When he’s finally done, I say:
“I don’t have any alcohol.”
All I had was a box of pork.
So what is it?
There’s just too much life coming out of me at the moment.
It’s like they can smell the freedom on you when you walk in the room.
Now, to be fair, he could be a long-lost relative. If so, he’s come a long way from home just to end up back under the thumb. Quite sad.
But, inspired my jam sesh for tonight. Until my dying breath.
I left.
Was walking home, dancing in the street with my AirPods in, living my best life.
Stopped to check my maps.
Four dudes came up.
“Yo mate, you know where Dun Dun is?”
“No man, I’m from America.”
“Oh shidt, come out wiff us!”
“Wish I could! I’ve got a date with this BBQ pork.”
The tone shifted. They got smug:
“Have fun with eating your pork.”
Fun I shall have.
Anyway, on date.
She’s luscious, tender and juicy.
