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BLOG | LIVE ALCHEMY ☉

Emergency Unlicensed Therapy: The Double-Huffle-Puff Maneuver
On my morning walk down Fulford Road, I pass a young man, laying down, crying, sweating, hollowed out on a bench. A couple leans in, kind eyes and kind hands, trying to reach him. But he’s somewhere else entirely. I keep walking. Not because I’m hea...
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I Offered My Neck | The Blade Between Us
There’s a moment you stop wondering who someone is, and start finding out. You hand them the blade. Kneel. Offer your neck. Not because you want to die. But because you want the truth. And test of character. Some won’t lift the weapon. Some will he...
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HELEN OF TROY "You Make My Minge Wet" WTF?!!??
I hadn’t even made it inside yet. I was walking up to the church for breakfast — just another cold morning, just another line outside. That’s when I met Helen. We weren’t even in the building. We were about to get in line. She didn’t waste time warm...
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Me and Kobe's Sincerest Apologies
The world tells you what matters. The world tells you what doesn’t. It ranks and measures and shrugs. It worships loud money, quiet conformity, and calls anything else “unimportant.” At first, when I didn't conform, I made a lot of apologies. But he...
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Plato Was Autistic and The Original Thought Baddie?!
Plato once wrote this spicy little gem: Wrong quote.. my bad. “If a perfectly just man ever existed, we’d hate him so much we’d beat him, torture him, and crucify him.” And before you ask—no, he wasn’t watching Mel Gibson movies in reverse. This wa...
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🔥The Evolution of Cowards🔥Slaying The Dragon
A fairy tale that stopped being fiction the moment you opened Instagram. Once, in a kingdom bathed in starlight and silence, a boy was raised on stories of dragons. They lived beyond the forest—ferocious, fire-breathing beasts that guarded towers, h...
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"nothing beats a Jet2 holiday" My Best Compliments
Hello, World. Here Are Some of the Best Compliments I’ve Ever Been Hit With (Whether They Knew It or Not) Not all of us can sit with the homeless in the morning, volunteer by lunch, all while enjoying a Jet2 holiday to York. Some of us are just out ...
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Giving Up - White Mustang Style
This morning I was talking with my new friend Nigel. Again, we were at Central Methodist Church with a few other volunteers. Nigel and I started talking about chess. I told him about a long, slow game I’ve been playing online. He asked, “Are you sti...
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Be willing to be FOOL in order to become a Master
That's it. That's the tweet.
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Free Business Advice: "Weaponized Autism"
You’ve heard of nukes. You’ve heard of AI. Now meet the final boss of online warfare: Weaponized Autism. It’s not a diagnosis. It’s not a comic book origin story. It’s a term invented by internet gremlins & to describe a hyper-focused, detail-o...
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Saint Bristow & The Rag of Righteousness #Employed...Sorta
1:1 Dear Mom and Dad, You who have waited many moons for updates, I bring glad tidings: Thy son hath acquired… a job. 1:2 Now I had been partaking in the ministry of free breakfasts, daily receiving beans not fried by my own hand, and toast delivere...
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Warning: Modern Woes
Matthew 23:25–28, where He says: “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence… You are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beauti...
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I'm Getting Married
Who Is Frederick Nietzsche? Friedrich Nietzsche (pronounced NEE-chee) was a 19th-century German philosopher, poet, and cultural critic known for shaking the foundations of Western thought with a sledgehammer made of insight. He’s the guy who famousl...
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 Moonlight, Push-Up Bras & the Rise of the Feral Feminine
So there I am, Minding my business. On my evening walk. Innocent. Unsuspecting. A domesticated man in the wild. My friends are lounging about like summer’s unpaid extras. She waves me over—come sit, say hi, be social, pretend you're normal. Fine. I...
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"Is that a Banana in Your Pocket?" Caught In 4K | URBAN DICTIONARY
There are moments in life that whisper to you. Other moments? They scream. “Is that a banana in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?” As if two things couldn’t be true at once. The only thing sharper than Yorkshire intuition? Well, yes, th...
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