One of my favorite stories from 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown is Joe Lycett’s legendary parking fine saga.
In it, Joe reads out his cheeky email exchange with a council about a parking ticket. After all the back-and-forth, he drops the glorious line:
“Sadly, ‘hopefully’ doth butter no parsnips.”
It’s hilarious. But the older I get, the more I realize why I’ve always loved it so much.
Because Joe isn’t just being funny, he’s mirroring life back to us to get to the truth.
He understands how much weight hope holds. He knows we’re all just trying to avoid fines, avoid awkward conversations, avoid the messy parts of life… by hoping they’ll magically disappear.
But he also knows that’s not enough.
Joe ends up landing safely on the moon, shining a giant comedy mirror down on all our parsnips, and everyone is enjoying the show.
🌑🪞🌸
What is hope?
Hope is like fancy wrapping paper, it looks nice, but it’s not the gift itself. It’s you crossing your fingers, lighting a scented candle, and whispering to the universe:
“Please let my boss forget about that email I accidentally sent… with the cat meme attached… calling them a potato.”
Example of Hope:
- “I hope I’ll win the lottery.” (Despite buying one ticket a year and spending the rest of the year ranting about taxes.)
- “I hope my ex doesn’t show up at the party.” (Spoiler alert: they do. And they brought a guitar.)
- “I hope this parking fine just… vanishes.” (Hi, Joe Lycett.)
What does it serve?
Hope keeps you from crying into your cereal. It’s the little voice saying, “Don’t give up! Things might improve! Also, buy that scratch card!”
But hope alone? Like Joe Lycett says:
“Hope doth butter no parsnips.”
In other words: it looks lovely, but dinner’s still dry.
What is faith?
Faith is hope’s bolder, sassier cousin. Faith doesn’t just wish—faith believes. Faith rolls up its sleeves and says:
“Right, let’s sort this out.”
It’s the part of you that buys parsnips AND butter and googles “best parsnip recipes” because you’re committed.
Example of Faith:
- “I believe I’ll get the job—and I’m prepping for the interview like Beyoncé preps for Coachella.”
- “I believe my wedding day will be gorgeous, rain or shine. Also, I bought umbrellas shaped like flamingos just in case.”
- “I believe there’s a loophole for this parking fine, so I’m emailing the council in archaic Shakespearean English until they give up.” (Joe Lycett again.)
What does it serve?
Faith gets things done. Faith buys the butter. Faith writes the emails. Faith sometimes even wins the appeal.
So what’s the key difference?
→ Hope wishes.
→ Faith believes—and behaves accordingly.
Hope is watching Bake Off.
Faith is actually baking the cake.
And if you’re ever confused, remember Joe Lycett:
“Hope doth butter no parsnips.”
So yes, hope’s lovely. But if you want buttery parsnips, or a canceled parking fine, bring some faith to the party. Preferably with receipts.
You might just be able to make the impossible, possible.
Hopefully you don't get caught up in the forthcoming,
-D