If I did affiliate marketing for Life Alert, here's what that might look like. Lets have some fun!

No one in their right mind can refuse a true emergency.

Not when it’s clear.

Not when it’s urgent.

Not when there’s a beauty to save.

That's why people buy life alert. (Shameless plug)

And Ms. Fletcher

she wasn’t dramatic. (maybe a little)

She wasn’t loud. (except when she gets excited)

She was noble.

So when she fell,

she didn’t cry wolf.

She didn’t post for attention.

She pressed the button.

And Life Alert answered.

Because emergencies…

they require action.

But here’s the thing:

Even Life Alert has to quantify.

They have books to balance.

Protocols. Audits. Thresholds.

Somewhere, in their log, it read:

"The Noble Ms. Fletcher Fell (Or something). So we took action."

Justified.

Documented.

No one questions it when the danger is real.

When the signal is clear.

When the oxygen mask meets the lips

of someone too proud to beg.

Fabio looking operator didn’t ask for a backstory.

He didn’t need a second opinion.

He read the moment,

saw the fall,

and responded.

Because he loves what he's doing,

as in crisis,

timing is everything.

IMO - Life Alert Is Basically Sanctioned Romance.

So if you're wondering whether to call,

whether your moment is urgent enough,

whether someone will come running,

Ask yourself:

Can it be logged?

Can it be defended in the books?

Would it read:

“The Noble Lady Fell.”

Or is it still…

just that she lives alone or longing?

In either case,

if you’re considering Life Alert,

please be advised:

There is a 4 day wait time before receiving a call back due to a backlog of emergencies.

So, they will not be answering any calls.

Benefits:

Batteries INCLUDED***

Life Alert's batteries are life time guaranteed. You never have to worry about charging our devices. They stay with you 24/7 so you are always protected. #ComesWithBatteriesIncluded

Fully waterproof

Life Alert’s cutting edge emergency buttons are fully waterproof so you can bathe with protection 24/7.

Up to 1000 feet range (or more)

Life Alert's home-based unit comes equipped with one of the longest signal ranges in the industry to give you more freedom.

Wear as a pendant or a wristband

Life Alert’s HELP buttons are so lightweight you can wear them on a lanyard under a shirt and no one will know it’s there. You can also wear it on the wrist. Or, on your finger. Check our new gold model offered with the lifetime subscription!

Also,

if Life Alert does not currently serve your area,

they are interested in expanding to new markets.

So, please allow 3–5 business days for shipping, handling,

and the full setup of local operations.

Including dispatch.

Oxygen.

And possibly Fabio.

Until then…

try not to fall too hard.

—D

To order now call.