Another Totally Hypothetical Situation (Because Life is Deliciously Petty)

We're you thinking a real kiss? Ha! Today we're about something much better. Chocolate Kisses.

Imagine this:

You and your next-door neighbor are friends. Good friends. Like, help-you-move-a-couch-up-three-flights-of-stairs friends.

Your friend?

Loves chocolate.

I’m talking obsessed.

Not just a piece here and there, no, no, no.

We’re talking full-body passion.

They once said, with a straight face,

“I just want to be covered in chocolate like a warm blanket.”

And then, dead serious,

“No, like, dipped in a chocolate fountain. Like that kid from Willy Wonka. That's how I want to die... I mean, that's my dream... Haha...”

Honestly?

Respect.

I admire that kind of raw, unfiltered passion.

That’s dedication.

But then... disaster.

You, in a moment of weakness, chaos, and questionable morality, sneak a piece of their chocolate without asking, you eat their entire bag of chocolate kisses.

No asking. No casual “Hey, mind if I take one?”

Nope.

Just straight animalistic fudge carnage.

In hindsight (and after the sugar coma wears off), you realize:

Huh, maybe I should’ve, you know, asked first?

But alas, damage done. And understandably, your neighbor puts up a boundary:

“You are no longer allowed to see any of my chocolate kisses.”

Fair. Logical. Slightly dramatic, but hey, trust has been violated, and when trust is gone, drama steps in wearing stilettos.

And now?

They’re devastated.

Betrayed.

Their dreams of being human fondue shattered.

Next time you go to hang out?

The blinds are shut.

Shutters? Boarded up like a Florida hurricane is rolling through.

The door has not one, not two, but three shiny new deadbolts.

You're standing there like:

“Um... my bad about the kisses, fam?”

But no response. The house stays in Fort Knox mode for days.

Meanwhile, I’m pulling up to life in the Kiss-mobile, a rolling testament that I’ve got more chocolate than anyone knows what to do with.

But still, boundaries, baby. Boundaries.

I thought everyone knew that.

And then, just when you start wondering if your neighbor has gone full doomsday prepper, a glimmer of hope:

A chocolate kiss.

Slipped under the door.

Resting on a pristine napkin.

Like a seductive little snack siren, whispering:

"Eat me, you know you want to..."

So What Do You Do?

Your favorite snack. Right there.

Practically begging to be devoured by a bystander with zero morals and a deep love of processed sugar.

But here's the kicker:

You care about your neighbor.

You respect their boundary.

Even if they’re sending mixed signals like Helen Keller writing "I miss you" in Morse code.

Because, and listen carefully,

Taking that Kiss would be a violation.

Straight up betrayal, dipped in extra fudge.

Sure, maybe your neighbor wants to reconnect.

Maybe they’re testing the waters.

Maybe they just panicked and threw a kiss at the door like a white flag.

Maybe they even want to share a kiss.

But until they open the door, invite you back in, and offer you that kiss, you have to chill.

You are, for all intents and purposes, a boundary-respecting vampire.

And like every self-respecting vampire knows:

You cannot enter unless you are invited.

This is actually the real story of how Michael Bolton came up with his hit "How Can We Be Lovers If We Can't Be Friends." It was over a bag of chocolate kisses.

Okay not really.

No weaseling.

No loopholes.

No “but technically the door’s cracked open...” mental gymnastics.

You sit your cookie-craving self down, and you wait.

Because the end does not justify the means.

How you win matters.

Trust isn’t rebuilt by sneaking in and stealing the cookie.

It’s earned, invitation only.

On A Serious Note:

Boundaries. Those invisible electric fences that save relationships from burning to the ground faster than a gas station bonfire.

But what are boundaries, really?

A polite way of saying “Back off”?

A way to avoid jail time?

A love letter to your future sanity?

Yes, yes, and absolutely yes.

Why Should We Respect Them?

You shouldn't. Ever. Nuff Said.

Just Joshin' you.

Because otherwise, trust decays.

And if you don’t know what trust decay looks like, it’s a slow, painful death by a thousand microaggressions: the sighs, the side-eyes, the passive-aggressive “K.” text messages.

Without boundaries, relationships turn into those Netflix shows you keep watching even though you know the writers ran out of material three seasons ago.

And What Happens If We Respect Them?

Trust is built.

Strong.

Like a LEGO set assembled by a 6-year-old prodigy hopped up on apple juice, indestructible.

When we respect boundaries, it’s like telling the people we care about:

“I see you, I hear you, I’m not going to hijack your nervous system today.”

Groundbreaking.

Nervous System PSA

For the people we care about, it’s important not to confuse their nervous system.

Boundaries = Consistency = Nervous System Safety = Trust.

Otherwise, you’re just trauma-dumping on people and calling it intimacy.

And on the Off Chance They Want to Be Disrespected...

Sometimes, sometimes, people get weird.

They bait you.

They tempt you.

They slide a Chocolate Kiss under the door like they’re offering peace... or setting a trap.

And you might be thinking:

“Well, maybe they want me to break the rule. Maybe this is their way of reconnecting.”

Nope.

That’s a trap.

That’s emotional quicksand. That’s how you end up disrespecting them, with their permission, and still lose the relationship.

Because here’s the thing:

Even if they want to be disrespected, you still don’t do it.

You don’t lower your standards just because someone’s daring you to.

Because the end?

Still doesn’t justify the means.

How you win matters.

Even if they hand you a Chocolate Kiss on a velvet pillow while wearing a tiara and playing Michael

Bolton on loop..

No invitation, no Kiss.

You wait for the open door.

You wait for the real offer.

You wait until respect is mutual, not begged for, not gamed, not set up like a trick question.

Boundaries are boundaries.

Even when they come gift-wrapped in shiny foil.

Final Thought

Boundaries are the ultimate love language.

Respect them.

Or watch your relationships crumble like a gluten-free cookie at a toddler’s birthday party.