Most people die without ever understanding their own lives. Will you be one of them? “Life’s Big Questions” is your chance to change that. Keep ignoring the hard questions, and you’ll end up exactly where you fear the most. Check my e-book and I'll make sure that never happens.
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Painful life events can happen at any time, as they are unpredictable. They can remind us that life can be devastating, cruel, and unfair. They may remind us that life rarely goes as planned. They may question whether we can survive or thrive at all. But yes, we can do it. We can develop the strength to overcome even the most difficult or traumatic events in our lives. Let's build inner strength. When you're deeply sad, purposeless, and lifeless, surrounded by intense chaos, confusion, and unpredictable pain, remember these six strategies to help you remember your resilience at times.
Stand Still and Feel the Ruins
When you’ve faced the wreckage of loss, failure, or betrayal, it’s important to feel those feelings of being broken so you can heal. You may want to fill the hole, hold yourself together, and get up and going, but giving yourself a moment to truly allow the experience of the fractures first makes your recovery stronger. Feel the rubble. Don’t push it away. Look around. What you built and all that is gone. Stand still for a brief moment and check in. What do the pieces feel like? What is the depth of your despair? How far does the devastation reach? Feel your way. Breathe, double-check you are in your body. Connect with the ground. Ask yourself what you should let go of and what you should save. Allow the emotions to run through you. Hold space for them. Let them roar or wash over you like a river. Don’t be afraid of the force they hold. The river won’t take you. Feel the in-between moments. Between heavy sadness and aching grief, find the edges of your broken bits. What stands out to you? Are there sharp points? Soft, worn remnants? Begin to notice the overgrown edges of the dark woodland forest that you have emerged in, and the piercing light that seeps through the rough-hewn cracks. Maybe you need to stand still for a little while longer or maybe the woods call for you to begin the next part of this process. Once you’ve honored yourself and the present moment, you’re able to begin picking up the pieces, but first and most importantly know you deserve this time to feel the ruins.
I hope you heal from the things you don't tell anyone about, even if I never know what they really were. You don't deserve to carry around half-healed scars. Only healed ones, as much as you don't feel like it. Only healed ones. __ Life's Big Questions.
Search for the Unbroken Within You
The next thing you need to do is go searching within yourself for your "unbroken" place. I call this unbroken essence your "Still, Strong Voice Within." It's that place deep inside you – the result of part innate knowing and part experience – that tells you, when you listen, what you need to do now for your best long-term interests.
Some people call this unbroken place of power – this cosmic place that is the harmonious whole of you – your "center." Others who are religious state that the connection to a higher power, whether that force comes from within, in a higher and better self, or from the external, from a relationship to a higher power. A small part of you knows right from wrong.
Broken doesn’t mean shattered completely. In the ruins, there’s always something that survived — A memory, a belief, a spark of you that remains untouched. Hold onto it. It’s your anchor when the waves are cruel.
Talk to the Mirror, Not the World
If you’ve lived some time on this Earth, you’ve faced demons that can feel bigger than anything you possess or have inside you. You are terrified to look in the mirror because you are scared that all you’ll see is whatever your demons show you of your weaknesses and flaws. Social media and digital tools let us not only avoid ourselves; they provide perfect opportunities for such avoidance while providing misleading breadcrumbs that it’s others doing the same. Overcoming most things requires respites from that avoidance and immersion of yourself with yourself. However, today is a look-in-the-mirror-now kind of day, but I’m not going to start by telling you to go find one. We’re a hard bunch, you and I, apt to yawn at the most relevant words of wisdom, turning glossy pages, swiping our screens, or opening our ears before our opposable thumbs engage. So we’ll cheat. First, reflect on someone who you love. Are they perfect? No, they’re not. Not even close. You love them anyway, don’t you? Now look in the mirror.
Redefine the Story You Tell Yourslef
We often build our sense of self based on the stories we tell ourselves. But those stories are based on perceptions and aren't necessarily true at all times and in all situations. Assume that when you are broken, it is really an expression of a gap between who you are today and who you want to be. As you start to redefine the story you wish to live, it is the 'how' that unlocks the past to frame the present and help define your future. Please also take off your mask—the one that makes you present an image that isn't really you and doesn't allow you to share the real you. The mask is another story that you don't need; it is another story that is the sine wave of energy and negativity to what you are. Allow yourself to be who you really are and understand that everyone else is also only trying to be their best possible self.
You can decide if you are the sad protagonist or the happy one. If your story is not the reality, then try to change it. Create another story of the same content but with a different script. _ Life's Big Questions.
Embrace the Beauty of Starting Over
Sometimes it feels like there’s no way that we can heal from whatever issue or issues we have. It feels like we’ve heard it all or tried it all. The things that used to make us feel better now feel average. The things that used to help don’t anymore. We just feel done. I know I can identify with that more than I’d like to admit. So, what happens when we feel like we’ve tried everything and we’re still suffering?
There is one fundamental truth that can change the way we feel about beginning again, and that is that we never really stop beginning because we never really stop growing. It’s when we feel like we’ve learned and tried everything that learning and trying must start again. This is something that’s easier said than accepted, but once we appreciate it, we realize that we are, once again, starting in a brand-new position with a new set of tools and new ideas that ultimately lie in where we’ve been and where we’re ready to go. This is priceless. Our past failures contain a treasure map highlighting our future success.
You are born every day, from the shadows, shining like gold. You are born every morning, over and over again. _ Life's Big Questions.
Walk Slowly, but Don’t Stop
Life is a self-solving problem. That is one of the remarkable yet fundamental truths of existence. You don’t need to understand a thing unless you’re interested in it. You can’t help but solve problems if you are alive. Nature handles all the complexity. You are free, then, to simply dance with it. So, walk slowly, but don’t stop. You carry a treasure that does not steal. Do your dance. Your deserved success waits for you. The fact that you are still alive and still trying is slowly digested by nature. Go, then, with the flow, and let this digestion ferment to fruition.
As long as you can survive beating yourself up and keep walking, eventually you will realize that the strength you seek is built up from all those moments you thought you couldn’t go on. You are turning your potential energy into kinetic energy. But remember that while potential energy is easy to see and feel, kinetic energy is hidden within you – an often immeasurable wellspring of friction. What seems like the motion of countless moments turns out to be yourself moving. Each unit of effort is a single commitment to move, and so each adds to the flow that ultimately rewards the dedicated dancer. You. This isn’t bootstrapping, so much as placing one foot in front of the other. You’re not climbing a mountain; you only think you are. Keep walking, child. You’re already dancing on the backdrop of life.
Final Thoughts
It is possible that at the end, you may feel that something has begun to change. You can make charts or lists, write in notebooks, fill your walls with pictures, run and play freely, without waiting for someone else's approval. The point is that you allow relaxation, allow feelings, opinions, and criticisms, accept differences, and understand that there exists a wide range of ways to be and act in the world.
I need you to know that the courage to fight for dreams, to face fears and ultimatums, to freely set a space and create conditions of life is essential to break down the barriers that imprison instead of protecting.
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