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Journeying through the library of my mind, some of my aisles are in the self-help section, you understand. I go from a book of stoic wisdom all the way to the power of Reiki. It never feels strange to me. After all, it is my mind we're walking through, isn't it? But I find myself thinking about the Reiki books as I fill my cup in the kitchen, the sun setting outside and an idea rising inside. Am I Reiki? (I am Reiki.) But to be Reiki is to share the universal life energy, so people who think they're not Reiki, the negativity or apathy that they can share with someone else must have some serious, horrible value, right? If the negative is out in the world sharing itself, I must use that same energy to be positive and to share love.
The fire of motivation has been relit inside me. I've gone through and wet the wood of optimism, filled it with the oil of courage and love again and... POOF! I had a small Zen moment in the kitchen, but all the noise upstairs felt too much like sitting in ruins. Let's go up there and do something about it. Continuing. And… stop. I find it so absolutely difficult to stay focused and wake up with Reiki running through me in both directions. Why don't I light my own fire first, keeping my own flame running and filling myself with the overflowing spirit before pulling energy from the source? What good am I to a plant if I restrict all of my water to drop after drop? Both of us will be parched, and my needed rest will be as damaging to the garden. Honorable me. You're blooming. Full, spend more time with me and give away my noble entrance.
Growing always brings positive change. Smiling and the brightness in your eyes is spirit. There is inside you a power that is always with you. The aim of every moment is to be conscious of that power. You only have to fix your attention and say this is working time; this is eating time; this is playing time; or time for rest; and so on. You can then use the opportunity to feel the power of the presence of that moment. This is the age of opposites and contrasts. They meet in every person and in all circumstances. Both help us to know each other better. Give thanks from your heart as the beauty of a rose with all its thorns. You may often feel that love and beauty are repelling; but these are necessary too for you, for your understanding and your purification. These are the stimulating salts that make you grow quickly. Water yourself with them, and watch yourself bloom on every side with beautiful blossoms and luxuriant foliage, patches of color so harmoniously blended.
Keep watering yourself, darn it. Keep loving and pushing yourself. Trust yourself and don't be so tough on yourself, but make yourself do your very best every single day. You're up for greatness, and you're up for some of this strength and wisdom because you are searching for growth. You planted this seed. You knew what was going to come with growing, and now you are a little taller than you thought you would.
You're a little stronger, but it hurts a little bit. But this hurts less than being weak ever did. You don't want to go back to being a little bitty. You are so much happier where you are and would be happier if you kept growing. It sounds like puberty. Like you just want to get to the good part, but it hurts to grow because that means you're not where you thought you wanted to be. You're halfway through the growth, but the push is at its peak. Keep pushing! Keep watering yourself! You only have one life, kid.
Related: In The Hardest Time, We Grow The Most
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