hi you lot... I'm not dead i know i say that a lot but... there's a reason for it
my whole life ive sort of struggled with disability and chronic illness models have and will always be my safe space from that; they've kept me sane over the years.
I added this section because in a way i feel like ive let you guys down. i have models im working on but keep getting trapped in things.
either commission (which help offset some of the deep seeded issues i have with me just being... not functioning), health stuff orr my computer dyeing on me (as was recent)
i am trying to recover but. i keep falling into pit falls and i feel awful about it. i .. feel like ive let you guys down.
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all that to say im sorry for not posting more for doing more.
I'd run a discord to help but... i don't have the confidence or the executive function capabilities to run it.
my .. chronic pain and fatigue is back. which is why its so hard to just keep building i feel like ive lost so much to illness at this point and it hurts
i'm.. good at boxing things. its how ive sort of stayed alive all this time. so i dont always sound it. i try not to be in the moment too much because it just hurts. .. this isn't me complaining. its just how life is right now and has been for the last few months for me.
... i. i wanted a way to be honest and talk to you guys the best i could without the above issues of moderation and me just.. cracking under more weight.
i dont plan on quiting. i just need time. i think. ill update and get things out when i can. but its gonna be a uphill battle a bit.
.Ive sort of suffered from chronic pain since i was little .. got a break for a few years. and now its.. just back. ...
i do have models. that i will release. but. small bug things and my insecurity keeps making me ask if its enough, its sort of just me. over here. ever design and story ive done has just been me. in my room wishing for a place where it feels like the stuff i do matters a bit. .. some of these guys have.. done what i wish i could have done years ago. and helped people.
actually, helped people express themselves. and have fun to step away from the pain. and everything
thats.. all; ive ever really wanted to do to help and make people smile. even if ive never met most of you.
i want you guys to know that i am greatful every day i stumbled into this community... its probably saved my life a few times over.
sorry thats a bit much.
i still tend to ramble over text it seems .
apologise for all the errors im in a lot of pain and its like 4 am here + dylexia so.
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I'm sorry for the lack of models and stuff from me in recent months
I'm sorry its not gonna get better for a bit. but im not dead, just stuggling.
.. i will do better once i have my feet under me, but i geuinely never plan to abandon this little dream of mine.
ive got models that ive teased (STILL HAVE THOSE) and are just working through the bugs but its hard because motifvation through pain is hard.
Happy late pride month. im sorry i couldnt get my posts up in time. i.. geuninely didnt expect this month to be this hard.
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