Have you ever had five rejection emails in a week? I have! You heard me; one each day of the week from Monday till Friday. It’s like all the places I had applied to decided to collude and crush my soul in one fell swoop. The rejections didn’t stop there I am afraid. For the next three months, I was to receive at least one rejection a week! I can take rejection as well as the average person but that was too much. How bad is my Resume anyway? What am I to make of all these rejections? Should I even bother applying for more jobs? I have taken a break for applying by the way. Let me also give my email a break from constantly receiving negative messages. Poor email must be traumatised! Is there a reason I am being rejected aside from my obvious over-qualification for the jobs? In my mind, that is the only reason they would reject a sterling candidate like myself. Hey, don’t laugh. We all have to tell ourselves something so that we can sleep better at night. I know you do the exact same thing.
God is clearly aware of what is happening in my life so what is going on? Doesn’t God want me to earn a living? Am I not supposed to make something of myself and shine for Jesus in the process? I believe the answer to this is yes but the process is not how I picture it in my head. Which is a pity; it was a pretty good picture.
There is no such thing as coincidence, so if God - because this can clearly only be Him unless you know anyone else more powerful - is allowing all these avenues to close is there something He is trying to tell me and I am too stubborn to hear? Am I like Balaam who was so adamant on my path that God has to intervene drastically? Have you heard the story? Balaam was sent by Balak, an enemy King of the Israelites to curse them. God warned Balaam not to go but he went anyway. On his way, there was an angel waiting to slay him but he couldn’t see it but his donkey did. Go figure! God makes his donkey talk and warn him of the calamity that was about to befall him. Yes, you heard me, a talking donkey. Read all about it in Numbers 22.
God will do anything to grab our attention. For Balaam it was a talking donkey, for Moses it was a burning bush and for me it is incessant rejection emails. Did I tell you I even received a rejection email on a Sunday? Who even works on a Sunday? Is nothing sacred? That employee needs a raise for their commitment to work. My point is that these rejections have made me stop in my tracks and look up to God more keenly. They have made me ask God what He desires of me. They have made me cry, frown, and even laugh at myself. Most importantly, they have made me resign myself to God which I think is what He wanted. You know the word, surrender. A word we Christians like to toss about carelessly and sing with conviction yet we know close to nothing about.
What is surrender? I do not know but I am guessing God is about to teach me. As I surrender today, I meditate on the words of David in the famous verse we like to quote but never seem to comprehend.
‘Be still, and know that I am God. I am exalted among the nations, I am exalted in the earth!’ (Psalm 46:10 RSV)
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