Learning to Live With Grief and Solitude

Yesterday was my father’s birthday.

Even after time has passed, the day still carries weight, not just in the memories, but in the silence that follows.

The day after his birthday always feels different. The messages slow down, the posts fade, and the world moves on… but inside, the ache remains. That’s the part no one really prepares you for the quiet moments after the wave of remembrance, when you’re left sitting with your thoughts, your emotions, and your heart trying to make sense of it all.

Grief is complex. It doesn’t move in straight lines. Some days it humbles you, other days it strengthens you. But most importantly, it teaches you to sit with yourself, to find comfort in solitude, even when it feels uncomfortable.

In solitude, you begin to hear your heart again.

You realize grief isn’t your enemy, it’s love trying to find its new place in your life.

And when you stop running from it, you discover something powerful: peace isn’t the absence of pain, it’s the acceptance of love that never leaves.

Since losing my father, I’ve learned a few truths that continue to shape how I move through grief and solitude. I want to share them with you, not as advice, but as reminders:

1. Allow yourself to feel.
2. Strength isn’t holding it all in. It’s giving yourself permission to break down, cry, and release what weighs on your heart. Emotions are how love keeps breathing.
3. Find peace in solitude.
4. Solitude isn’t loneliness, it’s sacred space. It’s where reflection turns into growth, and where the whispers of those we’ve lost still find a way to reach us.
5. Honor through action.
6. The best way to keep someone’s legacy alive isn’t through sorrow, but through what you build in their name. Every act of growth, kindness, or creation carries their energy forward.
7. Turn pain into purpose.
8. When you share your story, you give others permission to heal. That’s what I’ve tried to do through La’Heart Desires, turning personal loss into collective strength.

Yesterday reminded me that birthdays, anniversaries, and hard days aren’t just about looking back, they’re also about realigning. Asking: How can I keep building from the heart? How can I keep honoring the love that shaped me?

If you’re reading this and walking through grief of your own, know this, you’re not behind in healing. You’re not broken for missing them. You’re human.

And your solitude isn’t a punishment… it’s the soil where your peace and purpose begin to grow.

To my father, thank you for teaching me that love never dies, it simply changes form.

And to anyone grieving, may you find strength in your silence, and may your solitude remind you of how deeply you’re still loved. 🤍

— Deshaun Jackson

Founder, La’Heart Desires | Helping others build peace, purpose, and legacy from the heart