I always thought there was some trick to switching my mind and finally releasing control, but the truth I have found to be most healing is ✨vulnerability✨ with the addition of faith and focusing on things that feel nice.
I still have moments of trying to control situations, but I have found that when I sit and have an honest conversation with God, my therapist, or the people who are involved in whatever I’m stressed about, I feel so much more free!
Vulnerability means exposure, taking a chance on the lack of certainty. It means being naked, humble, authentic, confident. It also takes bravery! It takes trusting that who you are and how you feel are enough. Being vulnerable, at its core, is beautiful and powerful!
I think we put so much pressure on holding on. Grasping at things or people that we want to keep and don’t want to lose, but the truth is simple. What is meant to be, will be.
No amount of holding on will ever let us keep something that isn’t meant for us. And if we force it, what we thought was going to be glorious turns into a much uglier picture. Though I will say, I believe there lies opportunity. (But that’s a convo for another time)
On the contrary, we also tend to hold tight to our fears. It almost feels that if we keep a tight hold on them, they will somehow resolve. Or maybe it is that we want to control them in order to feel some type of power or well, control. Or perhaps holding on to our fears offers us the safety and predictability of our comfort zone. It can feel difficult to step out, even if it doesn’t feel good, it is what we are used to. We know how to protect ourselves within our fears, or hide behind them.
In this case, when we hold on to our fears, we hold ourselves back. We may hold ourselves back from friendships, a raise, work opportunities, or just from laughing and enjoying more.
Lately, I have found myself in fear and then I will open my Bible or start talking to God and get upset that my anxiety isn’t going away immediately. I used to just repeat “Jesus” several times and my anxiety would cease. But it's because I was lying it all at His feet, letting go of my thoughts and putting them on the power of the spirit, but now I find myself still thinking anxious thoughts as I try to cling to different ones. I once heard someone say “God won’t take care of it, if you won’t let him.” And that hit hard. I am not letting him heal me because I am holding on, in the midst of attempting to lean on faith, I am holding on to anxious thoughts.
So this is where the faith part comes in. Faith gives us a sense of safety and clarity apart from our comfort zones, comfort people, etc. Our faith doesn't have to be big for it to work. “Faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains” Matthew 17:20 Faith is moreso about focusing on how faithful the Lord is and not on how much faith we can encompass. Once again, we see this pattern of letting go of a strong focus on ourselves and our circumstances, and refocusing it on something else, something more joyful. If we can believe in God’s faithfulness to us, then we are a step closer to being able to take our hands off and live freely!
If we can practice vulnerability and faith, we can see through to the other side with clear eyes. Instead of being clouded by the stress and resistance that holding on to control causes. Being clear minded, you have space to focus on the beauty of life, the things that make you smile. The “goods.” The true goods, not the self destructing kind, but the kind that fills your heart and soul. And then, you’ll notice the feelings of peace, joy, delight, and ease gently gracing you in entirety. Doesn't that sound blissful? Don’t you wish to experience this more? You can, you are fully capable.
I send you off to practice this more. When you feel yourself holding on to a person, a job, or even your anxiety, try to take a step back, be vulnerable with yourself. Be honest about your fears and then lean into faith, start thinking about things that bring you delight, and see how it changes the trajectory of your day or night. 🤍✨
Here are some things that bring me delight to think about:
- Meyer lemons
- Feeling the Holy Spirit during worship
- A slice of fudgy chocolate cake
- A sudden warm Charleston rain on Sullivan's Island
- The first sip of a negroni
- The sound of rain on leaves
- The scent of the ocean
- A soft blanket
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