My problem. Maybe yours too?
When we do life, we need to do things in order to survive before we can thrive.
We have to step out of our comfort zone to expand our life experiences. Nevertheless, when we step out of that comfort zone too far, and for too long, we slowly become fearful. This fear starts as a low-grade one, recognizable as procrastination, doubt, anxiety, or a strong urge to contract into introversion.
When fearful, we contract into our comfort zone to regain control, or the idea of control, to create and grow the energy necessary to step out of our comfort zone again. Depending on many factors, this can take hours, days, weeks, or months.
In my life, and I hope in yours also, I want to thrive. I want to broaden my world. Somehow, an invisible force seems to hold me back from growing that world.
When I can’t grow broader in experience, I also can’t mature mentally, socially, intimately, and financially. A richer experience of life seems to slip out of my grasp.
Maybe you can relate to this?
The questions then become: What is holding me back, and when?
What do I not recognize or be aware of, but clearly is stopping me from accomplishing my goals?
Now, here is the big game changer!
The problem is calling it fear in the first place.
You may be like me in that I don’t fear a particular situation, reality, or circumstance. I do not fear, but I am hesitant, and that is the key word here. Hesitancy is holding me back!
Why?
The moment when I am hesitant to execute something, or anything really, I allow time to pass by, get distracted, procrastinate, and find excuses to do something else that I think is more important at that time, and avoid the thing that is the needle mover in the right direction.
But I have little control over being hesitant. First, I have to generate new energy from my comfort zone to get out of my comfort zone, to do the things that don’t come naturally to me or are difficult for me simply because of a lack of knowledge, funds, creativity, awareness, or experience. Let’s say the basics of all things necessary for goals to come to fruition.
There is a solution to this vicious circle. It is, however, a slow process that rests on patience and diligence.
I know; I’m sorry I couldn’t give you a quick fix.
But here it is:
Become more knowledgeable in general. Read books, listen to podcasts, listen to things you don’t initially agree with. Built tolerance, patience, and focus on what is binding.
Intolerance is another word for being closed-minded with a judgment.
What you will grow is resilience and a more open identity. You need to expand on your identity to be able to change the world around you. The world that you feel you’re stuck in right now, and be the person you want and need to become.
Hint: This doesn’t happen with a fixed mindset.
While you are at it, you and I both need to have moments of silence with no distractions. To sit in silence for a minimum of 15 minutes or taking a walk for 30 minutes does wonders.
You will be more creative when you give yourself time to ask yourself questions and become more aware of the problems you struggle with. Your subconscious always has the solutions, and now you give yourself time to listen.
But go out and do things. It is in doing that we gain experience. It is in failure where learned lessons are taught.
Now, when we have come this far, and we add accepting help from others, then that is where we create the right conditions to live in the world we aspire to live in.
We cannot harvest if we don’t put the work in.
For me, as for you: layer up! Winter is coming.
Good luck with failing, learning, and starting again and again.
See your happy face on the other side.