A gentle invitation to start again
Maybe you’re here because something inside you is tired. Tired in a way that sleep can’t fix.
Maybe you’ve left the relationship. You’ve changed the locks. You’ve done everything you were supposed to do to “move on.”
And yet—your body still flinches at sudden noises. You’re still looking over your shoulder, even if you know there is no one there. You still can’t take a deep breath. You still wake up every morning feeling like you’re failing at something you can’t even name.
If this is you, I want you to know something right from the start:
You’re not broken. You’re carrying too much. And your nervous system knows it.
My Rock Bottom (And Why I’m Writing This)
End of the summer 2018, I’d just got back from a month long holiday to Thailand. You’d think I came back relaxed and ready to start the Autumn term at school. In reality, going back to the fast paced, high stress and mentally challenging role as a primary school teacher, was when my body said “No”, “Enough is Enough!”. It shut down into a full breakdown. After a year off sick, I knew I couldn’t go back. I was a single mum with no job, I couldn’t afford the rent on my house and was still too poorly to look for work. I ended up back in the town I grew up in, in the house that I fled to when my last relationship broke down, down the road from my parents, desperately at a loss of what I could do. The night I moved back into my 'home' I lay in the bath and sobbed.
I’d lost my teaching career that I'd worked years to build. My health was a mess, with fibromyalgia and mental health issues. I couldn’t see any future ahead of me. And the worst part? I’d survived the trauma, but I still didn’t feel safe. Not in my body. Not in my home. Not in my life. Not even in my own mind.
I thought being out of the relationship would feel like freedom. For years, when I thought I had healed, I now know I hadn’t. I’d just pushed everything to the back of my mind, kept myself so busy. I worked full time, evenings, weekends and holidays, tried to keep a house a home for my daughters, was studying for a Masters degree and had 2 horses which were supposed to be my release but quickly became a chore. I raced around doing everything a million miles an hour so I didn’t have to think about everything and masked my emotions with alcohol. I was also grieving.
Grieving the woman I used to be (the one in the dangerous relationship, but that is a different story.
Grieving the years I’d lost. Grieving the version of myself I could have been if trauma hadn’t taken so much.
But then, something shifted.
Not in a dramatic way—not some big “aha” moment. Just… small things.
I found self help books and podcasts. I know that sounds so cliche! But, I took value in little bits at a time and slowly things started to make sense.
Most recently I began studying trauma and how I could finally heal myself. I started to learn about how trauma lives in the body.
How our nervous systems can get stuck in survival mode.
How our thoughts and feelings are often just echoes of old patterns trying to keep us safe.
And I began to realise: it wasn’t just me.
This is what unhealed trauma does.
It lingers in your muscles. In your breath. In your reactions.
And unless you learn how to work with your body, healing stays out of reach.
You’re Not Alone Anymore
That’s why I created Transform After Trauma and The Healing Sanctuary.
Because we need more safe spaces for women like us—women who’ve survived the worst but are still struggling to feel alive.
I became a Somatic Trauma-Informed Coach because I wanted to help other women rebuild the way I did—step by step, breath by breath, body first.
I don’t believe in fixing people. You don’t need fixing.
I believe in guiding you back to yourself—in supporting you as you reconnect with your body, calm your nervous system, and start to believe again that life can be soft… and good… and yours.
I believe that trauma and abuse does not have to define you and you can rewrite your story with the right support
What You’ll Find Here
This blog is where I’ll share my own journey—the raw bits, the breakthroughs, the gentle tools that actually helped.
But more than that, it’s where I’ll speak to you.
Because I remember what it felt like to search online for something—anything—that could help me feel a little less alone.
So if you're here reading this, I want you to know… I’ve made these spaces for you.
In the coming weeks/months, I’ll be:
· Sharing bite-sized tools and practices for healing over in my online community
· Running a FREE challenge to help you kickstart your recovery
· Delivering 8-week healing courses for deeper transformation
Let’s Begin, Together
You don’t have to have it all figured out.
You don’t even have to believe in yourself yet.
Just bring your tired, beautiful self here.
And take the next small step.
Maybe it’s reading this blog.
Maybe it’s taking my free quiz: Am I Ready To Heal
Maybe it's joining an online community of women, at The Healing Sanctuary.
Or maybe it’s just knowing that there is hope. Real hope.
I see you. I was you. And now—I’m walking beside you.
We rise together.
With love,
Steph x