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Herodotus Shapiro has had an unbelievably bad week. His wife left him. The IRS is after him for thousands of dollars. His home/bookstore burned down. On his way to take refuge at his brother's place he got a speeding ticket. And now his car has broken down in the middle of the desert in front of a large mansion. What more can go wrong?

But now his world takes a turn for the weird. The mansion has a snowman on the front lawn--in the desert in July. The house, which is bigger on the inside than on the outside, is owned by Polly, the most preternaturally beautiful young woman he's ever met. Polly is an acrobat, a gourmet chef, a psychologist, an international financial consultant, a physicist and a woman of who-knows how many other incredible talents. She has an unbelievable library, an art collection of all the world's great masterpieces and a print of a previously unknown Marx Brothers film. Her toilet paper is actually silk.

And she seems to have some mysterious plans for him....

This will get you the ebook format. Other available formats are listed below

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  • EPUB (274KB)
  • AZW3 (364KB)
  • PDF (41MB)

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Have you ever had that kind of week where your (largely uninsured) home/business burns to the ground, your wife leaves you, and the IRS starts hounding you for back taxes? That’s the kind of week it’s been for Herodotus Shapiro. When he decides to escape to his brother’s house to get his bearings, his car mysteriously stops running and, no surprise, his cell phone is also dead. Stranded alone in the middle of the desert, he approaches the only building in sight: an unlikely, huge mansion that has no earthly reason to be there. He’s greeted by Polly, a beautiful, eccentric girl who has many secrets but very few answers. She seems to be toying with him, but since he’s stuck until his car can be repaired, Herodotus has no choice but to play along with her bizarre games.

Polly! is a wonderfully written story that will leave you smiling. Stephen Goldin weaves a fun and fantastical tale that is witty, clever, and deceptively deep. Polly! has a wonderfully drawn cast of characters whose mysterious motivations and peculiar traits are revealed slowly, drawing you in to find out more. Goldin’s unique writing style allows him to merge playfully blasphemous content with lighthearted humor in a way that doesn’t come across as offensive, but will definitely make you think. If you’re a fan of cheeky humor and don’t mind a bit of sex and sacrilege along the way, Polly! is a story that will keep you hooked from beginning to end.

— Reviewed By Donnie Burgess for Readers’ Favorite

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All hands on Decalogue! A protagonist readers will find it easy to identify and empathize with, a classic journey story told with wit, wisdom and deceptive ease, and the most interesting guest star ever--what's not to like, here? Perhaps writers who attempt a book like Polly! wanna crack or two across the face for their audacity (to parrot conventional wisdom)--but not if they can manage to pull it off this entertainingly.

— Spider Robinson

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Polly is a book aspiring writers should read just to study the craft. Goldin calls on everything he knows from the silly to the profound to create a story that starts out entertaining and winds up being thought-provoking.

— -Bill Furlow, Great Books Under $5.

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Fast moving, well-written, tongue-in-cheek dramatic comedy which was so representative of real-life in some aspects, it felt like coming home. I thoroughly enjoyed Polly!

—Red Haircrow, Flying With Red Haircrow.

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I didn't want this book to end. I felt that when I put this down, I lost a friend in Polly. I enjoyed my time with her so much, I stopped reading it, just so I had another day with her. So it seems that Polly not only touches the people written between the cover of the book, but also the people on the outside looking in. This book reaches the top twenty list for me, and comes highly, highlyHIGHLY, recommended by me.

— Joe Hempel

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Stephen Goldin's POLLY takes on the subject addressed by some of humanity's most sacred tomes, and blows conventional wisdom to smithereens.

— T. Jackson King