How to Help a Grieving Family After the Loss of a Child, Printable Grief Support Guide for Friends, Relatives & Coworkers, Sympathy Gift

How to Show Up for a Grieving Family

A guide for friends, relatives and coworkers after the loss of a child.

Part of the I Am Grieving, Now What? series. 19 pages.

When a family loses a child, the people who love them often freeze. You want to help, but you're afraid of saying the wrong thing, so you say nothing, or you say something you regret. This guide shows you what grieving parents wish people knew, what to say and what to skip, and how to help in ways that don't make the family ask. It also helps you remember the brothers and sisters and the grandparents, keep showing up in the months after the casseroles stop, and care for your own grief too.

A gentle introduction before every page. Each one explains, in a few soft lines, why the page matters, grounded in respected grief research, including David Kessler's work on witnessing grief, Dr. Heidi Horsley's work on sibling grief and Kenneth Doka's work on disenfranchised grief.

WHAT'S INSIDE (19 PAGES)

Start Here

• A personal note from me on page 2, then a note for you and how to use this guide

What Helps

• What grieving parents wish you knew
• Words that help, and words to skip (with a "try this instead" table)
• Say their name: why it matters so much
• Help that doesn't need asking: meals, chores, kids' rides, errands
• My "I will do this" plan (fill-in)

The Whole Family

• Showing up for the brothers and sisters
• Showing up for the grandparents, and both parents

The Long Haul

• Months 2-12 and beyond: a simple rhythm, with a month-by-month reminder table
• The hard dates: a calendar to put in your phone, with message ideas

Online and At Work

• Social media: when to post, and when to wait
• At work: for managers and coworkers

For You

• Your own grief (disenfranchised grief and Ring Theory)
• A page for me
• When you said the wrong thing: how to repair it

At the end

• Find your circle: how to join The Ugly Cry Club, a grief group for those who have loved and lost
• A thank-you page with a 25% off code, a link to my shop and an invitation to ask for custom gifts

WHAT YOU'LL RECEIVE

5 PDF files, 19 pages each:

• Fillable – US Letter (type your plan and calendar right into the file)
• Full color – US Letter (8.5 x 11 in)
• Full color – A4
• Printer-friendly (white background, saves ink) – US Letter
• Printer-friendly – A4

WHO IT'S FOR

• Aunts, uncles, cousins, close friends, neighbors and church family of a family who has lost a child
• Managers, HR and coworkers welcoming a grieving parent back to work
• A thoughtful gift for the people asking a grieving family "What can I do?"

HOW IT WORKS

• This is a digital download. Nothing will be shipped to you.
• After checkout, your download page opens right away, and the download link is in your Payhip receipt email.
• Print at home or at a local print shop, or write on the pages on a tablet with a PDF app like GoodNotes or Notability.
• Fillable fields work best in Adobe Acrobat Reader.
• Print a single page or the whole guide, as many times as you need for your own personal use.

A GIFT FOR THE PEOPLE WHO WANT TO HELP

Buying for someone else? You can purchase this as a gift and send the download to a friend, a sibling, a church group leader or a coworker who wants to show up well. It's also a kind thing for a grieving family's closest person (a sister, a best friend) to share with the people around them, so the family doesn't have to explain what they need.

A NOTE FROM ME

Hi, I'm Niki. I made these pages after losing my daughter, Harper. I'm not a therapist. I'm a mom who has walked this road, read everything I could find, and leads The Ugly Cry Club, a group for grief and loss. I'm also a certified grief educator. Every page is written the way I wish someone had spoken to me: gently, honestly, and without a timeline.

Real tears. Real love.

Harper's Heart Press

PLEASE NOTE

• This guide is a gentle companion. It is not therapy and is not a substitute for care from a licensed professional. If you are in crisis or thinking about ending your life, please call or text 988 (U.S.) or your local emergency number.
• Published sources are credited by name. Harper's Heart Press is not affiliated with or endorsed by any of the authors or organizations named.
• For personal use only. Please don't share, resell, or redistribute the files. Churches, workplaces, HR teams, grief groups and hospices: please message me about group licensing.
• Because this is a digital file, returns and exchanges aren't accepted. If anything is wrong with your download, message me and I'll make it right.

MORE FROM THE I AM GRIEVING, NOW WHAT? SERIES

• The First 30 Days: a small, gentle gift for a parent in the earliest days
• Our First Holidays Without You: a family holidays & hard dates pack
• Mothers Edition and Fathers Edition: guided workbooks for the parents
• Grandparents Edition, and Little Hearts, Heart to Heart and Unsaid for the brothers and sisters