I’m going to tell you the ultimate weight loss secret.
Yeah, yeah, I know it starts off all click-baity. But how many of us has fallen in that trap? 28 days for a flat belly, and the image is of some swimsuit model that’s never had a single solid meal in her life, and a team of image editors has had their hands on the picture?
Sure, the apps have started using people who actually look like real people now, little more chubby, maybe with a stretch mark here and there.
But they all promise the same thing: a simple, magical “trick” or “hack” that’s going to “melt off” the fat. You barely have to lift a finger. No more crazy diets, they scream. Just this simple thing or that simple thing (and then the recipe for some ungodly concoction follows and it’s hardly simple). Or you can lose your belly fat in 28 days, or 10 days to a slimmer you.
I’ve clicked on those ads, and downloaded some of those apps, only to uninstall it ten minutes later. I’ve followed workout routines on social media and checked out smoothie recipes. There’s nothing wrong with that.
But there’s something that none of them are telling you.
See there’s an entire, multi-billion dollar industry relying on you not realising this one thing. As long as they can keep you fat, doubting yourself, and hopeful – they can sell you stuff. Pills. Creams. Weird devices that make the cellulite go away. Shakes. 0-calorie snacks. Apps that cost a small fortune per month.
They’re selling hope – but all you’re getting is despair.
So here’s the secret.
There is no secret.
There is no 1 trick or month-long routine or magic pill.
All there is, baby, is sweat.
Because, technically, there is one thing, and only one thing, you need to do, to lose weight.
You have to start moving.
That’s all. It really is that simple.
So they’re not wrong with the technical message – that routine on Instagram with five moves that will “tone your midsection and tighten your belly” will really do that. BUT – it will not do that in 7, 10 or 28 days, as advertised. And when (if you can make it that long) the 28 days has passed, and there’s no results, you lose faith, you lose hope, you lose motivation, and you drop it.
Then, a week from there, you see a pretty girl in shorts and you have yourself a little more so you pick up your phone and find a different program, which also fails.
Sound familiar?
Okay. So here it is : to lose weight, you need to burn off more energy than you’re taking in. Simple enough. How do you burn off energy? Well, you use it. You use it climbing stairs, walking around the block, lifting weights, running, dancing, swimming, aerobics, yoga, pilates, zumba, whatever. You burn it by moving.
How much moving?
You need 150 minutes of movement as exercise in a week. So you don’t need to go kill yourself in a gym either. Especially not if you’re very overweight, because losing a lot of fat fast results in loose skin flapping around and that is uncomfortable. Forget about not looking pretty, that’s irrelevant. It’s uncomfortable and annoying.
Losing weight slowly is healthier and easier maintained.
The second part of movement to lose weight? You need to keep moving.
Discipline.
The next post will be about discipline, because without discipline we have nothing, but for now let’s focus on movement.
Any kind of movement. The fact is, you need to actually do exercise in order to lose weight, become more fit, tone your body, increase stamina and endurance, increase flexibility, increase serotonin and dopamine, relax, grow discipline, and increase focus. Those are all, by the way, benefits of regular exercise.
Ha. When I was sitting in a hospital corridor waiting to be seen by a psychiatrist I remember absolutely detesting the people who kept telling me to “go do some exercise” because before I got sick, I used to gym and cycle heavily and it never really made a difference. Now I’m writing a blog about fitness, after just coming from a Zumba workout class. #TheIrony
Well, movement is my medicine. I started off with light walks. Gradually growing my route over weeks, making it longer, alternating hills to go up and down. Then I started adding a short stretch of jogging.
Then I discovered Zumba. I wiggled and danced and jumping-jacked every night. Then I made best friends with weights. Our building has five flights up stairs. Up and down I go, like a crazy person, headphones on.
I don’t do it purely for weight loss anymore. I do it for the absolute joy of being able to move, freely, without pain or exhaustion, with energy and self-confidence.
And yes, exercise is kinda like a pyramid scheme. You have to put in energy, to do exercise, which then eventually, 4 weeks from now, will start giving you energy. Unlike an actual pyramid scheme though, this one actually works.
Sweetheart, there is only one way to that pretty dress or skinny jeans. There is only one way to being able to move without getting winded, to losing the ache of general inflammation and to lift the fog in your head – it’s movement.
If you’re ready to start moving, keep reading.
Here’s your schedule. Stick to this – this is valuable. You don’t commit to six months or a year. You commit in weeks. You only count in weeks. Because you see, weeks are manageable. I can do four weeks. Anyone can do four weeks.
And when the four weeks are up – well, you do another four. And another four. I stopped marking the calendar on 96 weeks because the paper on the fridge’s notepad ran out. It takes 21 days (that’s three weeks) to form a new habit. You can commit to four.
There's your time line. You're going to do four weeks, over and over.
Just starting out, completely new to exercise? Get a pair of comfy shoes and do a twenty minute walk, every day, 4 days of the week, four weeks.
Some level of fitness, previous experience with working out but lost hope?
Two weeks of walking. No excuses, no "I'm bored" or "this is too easy".
After two weeks, introduce 1 new type of exercise. Something aerobic, like HIIT or Zumba.
Four weeks. No excuses.
Mark them on a calendar or a note against the fridge.
But make the commitment to do four weeks, minimum 4 days in the week, for 30 to 45 minutes a day.
Then come back and drop a comment.
There really is nothing more to it. The ultimate weight loss secret? The one no-one wants to tell you, and no-one wants to hear? You have to start moving.
I believe in you. You can do it.
You're worth it.
Now get moving, baby.
@ironicnotion
