There is a very real and rather ugly pattern that doesn’t get discussed very often, usually because the conversation immediately goes the other way. Men are repeatedly told to “toughen up”, “be a man”, “grow up”. Some women, however, will happily an...

We’ve all been there. We know what the problem is. We’ve done the necessary mental adjustments. We’re ready, we’re willing to make the change…and then? How do we do it? And then we collapse, we don’t actually know how to do it. Willingness is absol...

We need to talk about willingness. Have you noticed how often people talk about growth, healing, or self-improvement? Every second post on social media sells you something about growth or tells you how to heal a part of you. There’s a multitude of a...

Monday morning after Christmas, everyone’s back from the long weekend. Someone asks me how my Christmas was. (I don’t celebrate Christmas, but I don’t mind other people celebrating it.) So, I simply said that I didn’t celebrate it, but I had a nice ...

Three empty vodka bottles, set out on display. That was the first thing Rusty saw when he walked into his room after staying at a friend’s house the night before. The bottles had been lying, forgotten, under the bed for months. The message was clear...

The holidays are sold as a season of connection, warmth, and joy. Family meals. Laughter. Togetherness. Gratitude. Sold, being the operative word here. It’s paraded on billboards, across large screens, every window you pass. It’s on every radio, tel...

In 2023, I was given an honorary membership to the Boys’ Club, and it’s my most treasured achievement. Let me explain. I work in the aftersales department of a car dealership, and I’m the only girl here. It’s pretty much the Wild West, but, if you a...

Yesterday, I was watching F1 and painting pebbles (#PocketHope) when I wandered through the lounge to fetch something. My brother, Odin, was sitting in the middle of the floor, head in hands. I stopped to ask him what’s going on. He muttered somethi...

To make sure I’m not just speaking from emotion (though my anger is real), here’s what science actually says about how caretaking dynamics can erode attraction — and how skewed emotional labor can poison intimacy.Housework + Dependence = Less Desire...

International Men’s Day Feature I’m surrounded by men (I work in the motor industry, service department) and I’ve spent years watching men I care about push through difficult times, in silence. They hold the tension in their shoulders, they swallow w...

“It’s wire. It’s a spool of wire. And…I’m almost out of it.” If you haven’t seen this Instagram video, I’ve linked it here and you can watch it. The man is sitting outside holding a spool of wire that he’s had for forty years, and it’s almost finish...

I chose not to have children myself, but we can all remember our own childhoods. I see the scars of childhood in people every day, and very pronounced in two adults I love dearly. My fiancé, Irish, and my close friend Rusty, both grew up in what we ...

I used to work for an extremely difficult dentist, years ago, after school. I adore him. He’s difficult, but he’s also strong and noble and I have the world’s admiration for him. Obviously though while he’s snapping at me, one is less inclined to fe...

Having a choice, is your choice. Let that sink in. This a practical expansion of my previous post about choice, because good advice is only good if there’s a practical application. Let’s start with an easy one – text messages. You know you don’t act...

One of the most valuable lessons my mother always taught me is, you always have a choice. - When I was little, my mom always used to say to me “you always have a choice”. This was usually said in a difficult situation – we grew up in an abusive home...