To be seen

Deep down, each and every one of us has a simple, burning desire: to be seen. To matter. To know that our life, no matter how small, means something.

Even the strongest, most stoic, secure individuals still have the desire, even if it’s not acknowledged, to be seen.

The confident manager talking in the group of people also feels insecure at times, despite his stoic expression and confident stride. The lady in the back office being very busy and very efficient is dying for some company, but she's terrified of admitting it. The loud boy making all the jokes and goofing around, walks a little taller when his efforts and hard work is acknowledged.

And sometimes the people who are always just there, being dependable and helpful, so reliable we stop seeing them, are the ones aching for just a little acknowledgement that their efforts aren’t all in vain, that they do matter, that all the things they do does mean something.

The father who is always working to make sure his daughter is taken care of, so that she never has to worry about anything. The foreman who is always at his post, despite being sick or depressed or exhausted. The friend who is always online to make sure his online friends are good, even if he himself feels like crying. The husband who makes sure the trash is taken out and the bills are paid, despite never being thanked for it.

They're just there, I've heard people say. He's always there. He never fails. He's always online, on duty, on standby.

Until he isn't.

I'm not going to go too much into that statement. More will follow. What I do want to say, and loudly for the people at the back: Each of us has the power to make another human being feel either seen and acknowledged, or unseen and unimportant.

It may be small gesture. A hi, a smile, a fist bump. But the impact of a tiny gesture is often far more significant than we imagine. 

He said to me Mike messaged him on Saturday, he doesn't know why.

I do. It's because Mike and I both don't want him to feel so unseen that he disappears.

And it was a simple message, but he was still around on Sunday.

Telling someone "Your hair looks nice" or "Hey, how ya doing" doesn't cost anything. But to someone it may be the difference between waking up tomorrow, or choosing not to.