Let's talk about the power of change. When I talk about the power of change, I mean change from inside out. When I think about how much I have changed as a person, and I think about the fact that I put a conscious effort towards becoming a new person, what people probably don't realize is that changing yourself is equal to changing your life. However, most of us have been programmed to change our lives without changing who we are, how we feel, what we believe to be true, the way we see the world, and so on.
I still believe that there is nothing more rewarding than working on yourself. The problem arises when people around you probably don't understand your efforts and they perceive you as someone that is just incompetent in so many ways. When you are working on yourself, since it's internal work, there's not going to be much difference in your life. For example, what do I mean by this? Letting go of pain, transmuting the pain, reframing your perspectives, changing your thoughts, your frequency, your vibration, raising your consciousness, leveling up your consciousness, and just expanding your awareness. Reading multiple books, listening to various people that inspire you, that influence you in a positive light, becoming more confident, and getting closer to God, the Creator, having that relationship, finding your true self, your authentic self, trying to figure out what you truly want in life, setting goals, and basically cleaning up your life from inside out: rebuilding your relationships, strengthening your relationships, letting go of relationships that are not serving you, cutting cords, seeking and attaining more, learning how to communicate properly, learning how to give proper love to yourself, increasing your self-worth, meditating, listening to your intuition, reconnecting with your own inner self, establishing that relationship with your higher self, letting go of your ego, and the resistance and blockages, rediscovering your talents. All of the above and so much more cannot be seen or recognized by the average person in your life, which makes you feel like you haven't done any work. Everybody else will start reflecting to you because they cannot see the things that you've been doing. It probably took you three years, four years, five years just to do these things that I mentioned above, and so many more that I have not mentioned. We can call it in a word self-development, personal development. I didn't even mention, like I said, taking courses and stuff like that. That’s a lot of investment as well. However, people will not see you taking those online courses. You might understand what I mean when I say, “Oh, there is a course that I have to take on how to be successful.” People think those are just... I don't know. It depends on who you're talking to. Some people probably will provide that; some people might think it's just your interest. However, this is more than just interest; this is life.
Despite you doing all that, people are not going to see it, and you have nothing to show them either. It becomes a unique place that you find yourself in, and you start feeling it because we're so easily influenced by the people around us. When people start asking you the same questions, "What have you been up to? What are you doing? What have you been doing with your life?" then all you can answer is, "Working on myself." Visibly, you might not have changed. It’s not like you have been going to the gym and working on your physical self. You’re probably focusing a lot on your inner work, and it doesn't really show.
What makes it worse is when you're still in the transition. Change is cyclical. Most people might find you at a point where you are still kind of confused because identity formation and finding your authentic truth take time. This process is kind of like trial and error. By the time you feel like you found your ground, you’ve solidified who you are and who you show up to be every day. Until you find that stability within you and anchor yourself into the ground, to your body, to who you are in this world, in this lifetime, you're going to sound a little different every day because you're navigating a lot of internal turmoil, emotions, resetting your nervous system, experimenting with a lot of things, reading your books, and all these things bring a lot of change within you.
This might be reflected as you not really knowing what you're doing, what you're saying, or who you are showing up to be. Really, this is a time where you should isolate from people, but even isolation will make people wonder, "What are you doing with your life?" From my own perspective, I have come a long way in how I see life and how I show up in the world, and I do not regret any of it. Sure, I may not have things to show like having a worry, getting married, having kids, buying a house, buying a car, or having a Master's degree—all of these things. They just seem like something.
People around you probably have those things, and you feel like, "What am I doing?" However, for me, I feel proud because I know where I came from. I know how I was, my old identity. Now, when I think about myself, when I carry myself, when I spend time with myself, I am proud of the person that I am today because of all the work that I put in. If I had not put in all the work and did the internal work, I would probably be dealing with issues that I had, and that wouldn't have been very fruitful or brought me fulfillment anyway.
This is all to say that if you're on this kind of journey—spiritual journey, spiritual awakening, or just transformation or growth—it might be a little discouraging because people are not understanding you. However, I believe it is so worth it. I also believe that sooner or later, I can authentically come from internal abundance and radiance, bringing those qualities to life versus someone just trying to make their life look put together by getting married, buying a car, having kids, or buying a fancy house or apartment.
All those things, in a way, are like trying to buy happiness from the external, whereas when you're working on yourself, you're building for happiness to grow from within. That will be a lifetime of happiness or enjoyment because your foundation is going to last you long or even forever versus you trying to maintain that life by making sure it looks like a happy life. You know what I mean? Like when the world tells us, "You have to buy a car above your means," right? You have to sign a car out for $1000 a month. I don't know. You might say, "I will enjoy my car." Who wouldn't enjoy their brand new fancy car? Everybody would.
However, the question is, "Am I willing to do that? Am I going to do that?" When you're signing something that's well above your means, you're saying that you'll give your future time to make sure you get this thing now and put all your time into giving that money back, plus the added interest. You're really getting something that you like, of course, everybody would, but is it really worth it to just go out of your way and get those things just for the sake of it?
In the meantime, I have done everything to create a foundation, and not many people are really experiencing that. Maybe some people have built a good foundation when they were children. They knew who they were, what they wanted, went after it, had confidence and self-worth, had abundance, were creative, bold, outspoken, healthy, and everything. It depends on where you're starting. For me, it took work.
I can finally navigate life. I had to go through a lot of healing, putting the pieces back together, reclaiming power, and all that stuff. For me, that was very important. This is all to say that if you're in this kind of situation, please don't be discouraged. Be proud of the choices that you made. Your life is as good as what you believe it could be and what you believe will make you happy, content, and joyful. Just because you feel like you're not at the same level as people around you doesn't mean you haven't done good things.
I want people to understand that everything is a process, and it takes time for all the work you put in to be reflected in your external world for people to see. It also pushes you to be more bold and show people that you've been through stuff. That's also an accomplishment. Changing yourself comes with a lifetime of happiness and satisfaction. Breaking generational cycles, knowing your kids will be as healthy as you can be, makes me proud.
I have transformed undesirable traits like people-pleasing, lack of self-confidence, not knowing how to speak up for myself, not knowing how to set boundaries, insecure attachment, avoidant attachment, and codependency. These traits would have been passed down to children, but now, since I have worked on myself, they will not be passed down. They will be reversed and reframed to be used as a place of bringing forth strength that one never had.
It's worthwhile. Keep on doing what you're doing, even though the world reflects that you haven't done much and have nothing to show for it. I would disagree with that because nobody knows who I was before, how I felt before. Now, if I have found my destiny, my own fulfillment, excitement, joy, and happiness, nobody else can tell me that I am not happy or that I have lost because I am not living life according to their values and expectations. People might be disappointed, but if you're not disappointed in yourself, and you know you're on the right track and trying to do the right thing by ultimately leveling up from within, there's nothing else that can stop you.
For one to go out, get a house, a car, have babies, get married, those are things that people easily do because of their programming and societal expectations . To stop and say, "I'm going to try something different before I get married, buy a car, house, have kids, or set up a career," is commendable. It shows your bravery, courage, strength, and curiosity for yourself and others. It shows you trust God to show you the way and not rush to live life according to your 'programmed' or 'fear-based' self.
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