Being selfless, empathetic, and altruistic are traits that are unusual in a lot of individuals, and those who have them should be proud of them. However, like everything else in life, there's always a flip side to being good. People who have big hearts are always willing to be there for others, help them, and be their strength when they need it. There is no dearth of warmth, compassion, and love in such people. But it is these very traits which may also break them.
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It's one of the most beautiful traits one can possess, but a good heart is often seen as a sign of weakness and often leads to pain. People may take undue advantage of you, they make you do all the running and utilize you without you even realizing it. Your only crime here is being a good human being who goes out of your way to help whoever is in need. Their tears, pain, and sorrow affect you deeply because your heart only knows how to give and not expect anything in return. You tend to absorb the sadness which is often in situations where you have no control over. You care unconditionally and are affected in ways that other people are immune to, and it affects you much stronger. If you don't agree, take a look at the reasons why having a good heart can be your biggest downfall.
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People Might Take Advantage Of You
If you have a good heart, then first of all, I am proud of you. I know that the world does not have much left of us. You are a special kind of person. There are several reasons I think being a good-hearted person can be detrimental. I just wish people would not take advantage of those with good hearts. People can say that they are going to do something, and we often believe to an extent that it will get done because we are true to our word, so we assume they are genuine about their own. People take advantage of that.
In life, not stepping over others to get what you want is admirable in today's society, but if you do not stand up for yourself, you will never get anywhere. If you let someone walk all over you, they will. They will not be able to tell the type of good person you are because they are so focused on keeping it to themselves.
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You Might Find It Hard To Say No
One person that I met in a workshop suffers when he has to say "no" to others. He told me that he really knows the correct answer, but he also knows that his answer does not correspond to the others' needs and it also disappoints or hurts them. People with a good heart are kind-natured, gentle, and sweet. They clearly know what people expect from them or expect them to do. For example, when you receive a phone call from a friend for help, what are you going to do? If you are good-natured and you always do something for other people, and it does not make you tension-free, but in another way, you are going to be pressured or even get sick of it when those people keep finding you rather than trying or asking others to take care of it.
You must have a good heart to overcome or control your stress when you are really in the middle of giving. This is important when you are in the middle of saying "no". There are some following reasons that people with a good heart find it hard to say "no" to others. First, people with a good heart are very kind to some cruel people. The cruel people always take advantage of a good lesson by giving their part of responsibilities and make all of that stuff to be handled by people with a good heart. Second, well, I must admit that another main reason for people who have a good heart about why they have to be pressured or even get sick of giving. If you always answer people's calls, can you remember a bit about what happens to yourself? You are going to have no peace inside you. Do you want to lose that? If not, and therefore, you must have to say the word "no".
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You Might End Up In One-Sided Relationships
The third downside of being the nice person who listens more often than they talk is that this combination can lead to unbalanced relationships. The other person becomes accustomed to always being the more important, interesting, in-charge, or stronger person in the relationship. This could lead to a one-sided, imbalanced relationship. Both people should talk and both people should listen. One person might give more advice, and another person might receive more advice. A relationship with a good friend, family member, or spouse should involve mutual sharing of life, with equal talk and equal listen time for both parties.
Being Too Forgiving Can Cause More Harm Than Good
Forgiveness, which is vital for making and maintaining good relationships at work and in life, has its downsides too. Forgiving others is not always good, even for the forgiver. For one thing, a too tender approach can allow the wrongdoing to continue. Second, the absence of punishment or retaliation can send the message that the wronged person is too weak to hit back. Lamb might sometimes wish for the heart of a lion. Third, toxic co-workers might cheat on good bosses who do nothing more than turn the other cheek. In general, overly forgiving bosses are expected to receive more harm and less help.
Resisting the urge to forgive will awaken the wrongdoer to the consequences of his or her offenses. Providing leniency, the wrongdoer will learn that if they act up, they will be quickly forgiven and face little damage to their reputation. Sheep should maintain a little lamb-meat for the tigers.
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You Might Neglect Your Own Needs
You might keep giving and giving until you feel drained and depleted; whether by spending too much time helping others, spending too much money, or any of the many ways you can run low yourself by trying too hard to help others when you yourself are running on empty ends up leaving no one to help you. We all need to practice some degree of self-interest and self-care, because you can't pour from an empty cup.
Always put on your own oxygen mask before helping others with theirs: your wellbeing is the foundation that gives you the resources to help others. Many people take on the service role to fill a hole inside them with compassion and love for oneself and others. However, if several of your emotions or large parts of your identity are dependent on helping others, a good hard lesson will likely come someday, when you're also on your last drops of energy and you feel too spent, frazzled, or emotionally drained to keep helping others at the level to which you have grown accustomed.
Final Thought
I’m not suggesting you should become a bad person, but be selective about who you extend your kindness to. It’s great to have a good heart, but not everyone will appreciate it. Some people may take advantage of your kindness, leaving you drained and hurt. This doesn’t mean you stop being kind, but it's important to set limits and protect yourself. Choose who deserves your time and energy, so you can stay strong and continue to help others without losing yourself in the process.
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